


everything won't last but i'll be by your side

by tatemarkhams



Series: these places we call home [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, BASICALLY LADYBUG CARES ABOUT CHAT NOIR TOO OK, F/M, Fluff, I JUST NEEDED TO GET THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM, it's kind of angsty, ladybug is s a d, mentions of djwifi and julerose, oh screw it i'm tagging it anyway, so she confides in adrien about chat L O L, yes i'm calling it fluff now too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-08-12 15:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7940221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatemarkhams/pseuds/tatemarkhams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Does Chat know what it’s like for me to watch him get turned into stone? Or dissipate from the time stream? Or erased from this dimension? Does he know what it’s like for me to almost lose him every time? And what if one of these days I can’t bring him back? What happens then?”</p><p>Her voice was breaking, and Adrien could tell she was making an effort to maintain any semblance of composure in front of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the world could die // and everything may lie // still you shouldn't cry // cause time may pass // and everything won't last // but i'll be by your side // forever by your side

Adrien’s shoes were soaked by the time he rounded the corner. It would have been a quiet night in Paris had the silence not been broken by the sudden downpour just as he was on his way home from patrol with Ladybug. As such, there was the sound of splashing every time he stepped on a puddle of water, and Plagg, ever the delight, complaining loudly about not hurrying home while he was still transformed.

He had not bothered to ask Nathalie for a new umbrella since that day he gave the one he had to Marinette. So there was nothing for them to do but wait out the rain, taking refuge in front of a closed shop, while Plagg recharged by wolfing down the cheese he carried with him in his pocket.

Adrien shivered from the chill of the rain as he went over what happened with Ladybug during patrol earlier.

 

* * *

 

 _She got there before him, already surveying the city from their favorite vantage point atop the Eiffel Tower. Chat Noir landed beside her, making a comment about how_ pawsitively lovely _she looked as he sat down next to her. It was only when he turned to face her that he realized something wasn’t right. Ladybug’s eyes were glazed and unfocused, foregoing patrol duties, which wasn’t like her at all. Plus, she had not acknowledged his pun, granted, it wasn’t his best, but still, not even a blink or an eye roll. No ‘silly kitty’ followed by a boop on the nose. Nothing._

_“My Lady?” Chat asked tentatively before laying a hand on her shoulder. Her body tensed under his touch, making him withdraw. “Ladybug, are you okay?”_

_When she looked at him, Chat saw that her mouth was pursed in a tight line. “Sorry. I’m fine, Chat.” He knew she wasn’t telling the truth but he was afraid to ask for it. Afraid to push too far, or ask for too much. Because if there was one thing Ladybug valued the most, it was her privacy. And that was something he could respect. So he has learned to settle for whatever it was that she was willing to give him.  “Just a bad day, is all.”_

_“Oh,” he breathed. Ladybug had her bad days just as he had his. For him, those were days when his father would promise to have lunch with him only to cancel at the last minute, days when there would be no one with him during parents’ day at school, days when the memory of his mother was too much to bear alone. Chat didn’t know what Ladybug’s bad days were like. He had asked her once but the only response he received was Ladybug shaking her head and burying her face in the crook of his neck._

_This was almost routine whenever one of them was feeling miserable. Discussion of their personal lives were off-limits after all but they could allow themselves to have this – the company of each other and affirmation that neither of them of were alone. Once again, Chat wrapped his arm around Ladybug, his hand running up and down her arm soothingly while she rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, a familiar rhythm that set her mind at ease._

_Chat didn’t know how long they had stayed there huddled together, until Ladybug pulled away, squeezing him one last time before she announced that it was getting late and they should be getting home. Chat had been hesitant to let her go, distressed as she was, but he finally relented when Ladybug insisted that she was okay now and that she can’t be late for school the next day._

 

* * *

 

Which is exactly why Adrien was shocked to find her now, _his Lady_ , perched along the parapet of a building across from him and seemingly unaware of the rain falling around her.

Adrien stepped out of the storefront and into the rain, standing near a lamppost. He was now completely drenched, and so was Plagg who was cursing his charge from where he hid under his shirt. But at the moment, Adrien was only focused on one thing.

“Ladybug!” He called out as loud as he can but his voice was drowned out by the rain. Determined to get her attention, Adrien waved his arms in her direction. This proved to be effective as the superheroine straightened upon seeing him. She threw her yoyo and swung in a graceful arc using to make a perfect landing in front of him.

 “A-Adrien Agreste?! What are you doing out here in the rain?” Ladybug was red all over, not counting her suit. Her eyes were obviously sore, her nose pink, and there was a faint blush that colored her puffy cheeks. “You’re gonna catch a cold.”

Adrien regarded her in a mixture of puzzlement and open admiration. “I could say the same to you.”

“Well, superheroes don’t get sick so it’s no problem for me.” Ladybug huffed in response, waving off his concern. “You, on the other hand…we need to get you out of here.” He felt her long fingers circling his wrist as she yanked him back to the storefront with her.

 _First of all, that’s a lie,_ Adrien thought to himself. _Superheroes_ do _get sick. And second of all, my Lady, you have absolutely no idea._ Without thinking, he looked down between the two of them, at the point where they touched, where her hand lingered on his wrist, radiating warmth throughout his body.

Following the course of his gaze, Ladybug’s eyes widened as she realized what Adrien had been staring at. She yelped in surprise and abruptly released him from her hold. Her face turned an alarming shade of red while her arms were making jumbled motions before she finally crossed them over her chest. For his part, Adrien was pretty sure he was not faring any better. He felt hot from head to toe despite cold surrounding them. _Funny you flirt and cuddle with her as Chat so easily but now you can’t even touch her without the threat of combusting into tiny little pieces._

Adrien cleared his throat, daring to peak at her from the corner of his eyes. “You’ve been crying.”

“I-“ Ladybug’s head whipped in his direction. For a moment, it seemed as if she was going to deny his claim but eventually thought better of it. “I’m fine.”

It was the same thing she told Chat yet it was even less convincing when she said it this time. “Why are you out here alone? Why isn’t Chat Noir with you? Did you two fight?” Oddly enough, talking to her about her problems wasn’t weird out of the suit.  This time, he wasn’t her partner, toeing the boundaries of privacy that they had set, he was merely a civilian concerned for the wellbeing of a Parisian heroine.

“Not exactly.” Ladybug spoke so softly that he barely caught her words. _Not exactly?_ Adrien was trying to figure out what that meant when lightning struck from a distance, illuminating the city for a second. A loud clap of thunder followed, making them both jump where they stood. Ladybug looked at her accusingly. “You’re out here alone, too, aren’t you? Don’t you have a bodyguard?”

 “I, uh, I sneak out sometimes to go for a walk.” _And run around the city in a cat suit to fight evil._ “And then I got caught up in the rain.” He laughed nervously, aware that his voice was a pitch higher than normal. He tried to change the subject. “So, what happened with Chat?”

A shadow casted over Ladybug’s expression. “Chat is an idiot,” she said simply, not looking at him.

 _Well, meowch._ “Ha-ha. Yeah. I saw the fight this morning on the _Ladyblog_. Got turned into stone, didn’t he?”

“See, that’s exactly what I mean,” Ladybug groaned into her hands.

 _I can’t say that didn’t hurt._ “I’m sure he didn’t mean to be a burden on you, though.”

“ _What? A burden?_ ” Ladybug choked, spinning on her heels so that she could fully face him. The look on her face was intense when she spoke. “He’s not – Chat’s _never_ a _burden._ ”

“Oh, I just assumed – you thought he was an idiot,” Adrien stammered, and the weight of the insecurity that he has always carried with him fell away just like that, shattered by her words.

“Well yeah he is.” Ladybug frowned. “He’s always being reckless, diving headfirst into danger, making unnecessary sacrifices.”

“He must be thinking,” Adrien knew he should tread lightly. This was dangerous territory that he walked himself into and who knew what incriminating thing he could say that might reveal him. “Better him than you, right? After all, you’re the one with the cure.”

“That’s not the point.” Ladybug rumbled, stomping her foot on the pavement and causing the beads of water on her suit to fall to the ground. “I trust him. He’s a great fighter. And I know he can handle himself. But does Chat know what it’s like for me to watch him get turned into stone? Or dissipate from the time stream? Or erased from this dimension? Does he know what it’s like for me to almost lose him every time? And what if one of these days I can’t bring him back? What happens then?” Her voice was breaking, and he could tell she was making an effort to maintain any semblance of composure in front of him.  

 _Oh._ Adrien could do nothing but gape at her in horror. Because he did know what it’s like. He recalled their battle with Animan - the feeling of helplessness when he thought she was gone from him forever, as if she took the air he breathed when she disappeared. What he did not know was what she was telling him now - that he subjected her to the same anguish when Chat sacrificed himself for her. And he made her go through it over and over again.

“Maybe…” Adrien tried to catch her eye but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. She was focusing on a fixed point, a streetlight across them, willing herself not to cry. “Maybe he hasn’t really thought of it that way. You’re Chat Noir’s priority, in any situation, so I think if he knew that he was hurting you, he would’ve been more cautious. I think you should talk to him. ”

Beside him, Ladybug wrapped her arms around herself, shielding herself from the cold. He longed to reach out to her but he knew he couldn’t. Not as Adrien, anyway. “I don’t want him to think I’m doubting him or myself. Or our _abilities,_ for that matter.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t think that. Even superheroes aren’t invincible. He knows you trust him and he trusts you, too. All of Paris does.” He wished he could convey to her just how much she believed in her, in _them._

It was then that the pouring rain stopped just as unexpectedly as it had begun. The puddles of water on the street seemed to sparkle in the light, and the scent of _petrichor_ filled the air.

“Thank you, Adrien. I think I will. Talk to Chat, that is.” Ladybug offered him a small but genuine smile. It wasn’t much but he wasn’t naïve enough to hope that the rain and a conversation with Adrien would have washed away all the sadness that she had been hiding from Chat Noir. She extended one of her gloved hands towards him, an invitation. “But for now, would you trust me to escort you back to the safety of your home as a token of my appreciation?”

He grinned back and took her hand. “I’d consider it an honor.”

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Adrien Agreste and Marinette Dupain-Cheng both called in sick for school.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's four in the morning and i wrote this instead of doing my homework and now i'm dying
> 
> sorry for the mistakes i'm still not entirely sober
> 
> oh and yeah this is the first fic i ever wrote so if you would be so kind to let me know what you think that would be the greatest!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you look into my eyes then you should know // that there is nothing here to doubt // nothing to fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of cheese on this one  
> not the kind Plagg would like though

 

The last time Adrien remembered being sick was when he was ten years old.

It was after his mother had taken him out to see the turtles at the park and when he leaned in too close to feed them, he had fallen into the pond.  By nightfall, he was already feverish which prompted his mother to feed him soup and wrap him up in layers of blankets. Later that night, she pushed Adrien’s hair back from his forehead, called him her _little angel_ , and sang him lullabies until he drifted off to sleep.

Sixteen-year old Adrien Agreste didn’t have any of that. As a matter of fact, he wasn’t even supposed to be sick. His diet formulated by a nutritionist and his extracurricular activities managed by Nathalie saw to it that he was always in tip top condition. Staying out at night in the middle of a thunderstorm wasn’t exactly part of his schedule and he very much doubted that it was something his father would approve of.

Curled up on his bed now, Adrien watched Plagg stir the bowl of soup Nathalie had left him earlier. His kwami took a whiff of the steam and blenched. “Eugh, this one has no cheese in it. All chicken and broth. Adrien, you eat it.”

“It _is_ for me, Plagg.” Adrien’s called out meekly, his voice clogged by phlegm. He shuddered, feeling a bout of sneezes coming. Before he knew it, Plagg was already there, hovering above him and stuffing copious amounts of tissue paper on his face.

“Don’t get your gross liquids all over the place.” Plagg scowled at him, dabbing his nose with the tissues.

“Guh,” Adrien sputtered, wiping the snot off of him. He felt like _shit._ Probably looked like it too. Still, being with Ladybug that previous night was well worth a sick day in bed. _Ladybug._ His Lady who was probably just as sick as he was because she was worrying about his welfare in the rain.

Plagg threw the used tissues haplessly across the room without any care for the location of the garbage bins. From where he sat on his bed, Adrien could hear his kwami complaining about the fragility of human bodies as he flitted about.

“Plagg,” Adrien’s voice was soft, hesitant. “If something happens to me in battle, you’ll find a new Chat Noir, won’t you?”

The kwami, who had previously been spinning the globe on his bedside table, stilled.  He turned to Adrien and spoke in monotonous voice. “Kid, no one else can afford my cheese cravings. You’re not allowed to die in battle.”

“But what if I do? You’re gonna need a new wielder, right?” The thought of leaving his partner to another Chat Noir left an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. But even worse was the idea of leaving her to fight on her own.  “Ladybug needs a Chat Noir. They’re two halves of a whole.”

“You’re Ladybug’s Chat Noir.”

Adrien heaved a defeated sigh. “Plagg-:

“No.” Plagg told him with finality. “You are Ladybug’s Chat Noir and she is your Ladybug. So stop yapping about dying. Besides, it’s a pain choosing a new charge and I can’t be bothered with that.”

When Adrien first received his Miraculous and met Plagg, his initial impression of the tiny cat with godlike powers was that he cared for nothing but _camembert_. It didn’t take long for him to figure out that Plagg _cared,_ actually cared about him, about saving the city and about Ladybug’s kwami who he would sometimes speak about in passing. Only his compassion is thinly veiled with indifference but Adrien has long since picked up on that.

“Right. Okay.” Adrien extended his finger to scratch Plagg between the ears, his favorite spot. “Thanks, Plagg.”

“Ugh. Just get better now so I don’t have to look at your ugly sick face.” Plagg moved out from under his finger and zipped directly in front of his face. His tiny paws pushed Adrien’s forehead, making him lie back down on the bed. “After that, you can think about what Ladybug said about you taking unnecessary risks.”

He thought back to the look of distraught on Ladybug’s face the previous night, what the thought of losing her partner made her feel, what she told him when he was Adrien. He knew Ladybug cared about Chat Noir. But until last night, he had no idea just how much he meant to her.

Maybe it was the part of him that was used to being spurned whenever he would flirt with her. But just because she wasn’t interested in him romantically didn’t mean that she didn’t value him as a friend. So he promises himself that he would _try._ He would try to be more careful, more mindful of his actions in battle because what he said last night still rang true. _Even superheroes aren’t invincible._ And he wouldn’t let Ladybug be without her partner in the midst of their crusade against evil.

The last time remembered being sick was when ten years old and his mother took care of him then. Sixteen-year old Adrien Agreste didn’t have his mother with him. But he had Plagg, who looked after him in his own way, and he had Ladybug, who worried over his safety.

Adrien fell asleep thinking that his life wasn’t so bad after all.

 

* * *

 

 

“I told you it started raining when I was walking home from the fabric store!” When Marinette returned to school the following day, Alya was already on the steps of Collège Françoise Dupont, eagerly awaiting her arrival. After exchanging a series of pleasantries with her, Alya had readily launched an inquisition about the truth behind her absence. Thus, the lie.

“Aw, my poor Marinette. I’m sure you did.” Alya ruffled the top of her head patronizingly, slinging an arm over her shoulders.

In all honesty, one of the things that Marinette admired about her friend was her persistence. However, that persistence of hers to uncover the truth was also the kind of thing that jeopardized her secret identity. She was about to spout another half-baked excuse when she heard someone come up behind them.

 “Good morning!” The moment she turned to find Adrien there, waving at them and dragging along sunshine with him, Marinette swore her brain went haywire.  “What’s going on?”

Aware of her tendencies to start acting like a stupefied idiot whenever Adrien was involved, Marinette was keen on avoiding further embarrassment. She freed herself from Alya’s hold and hid behind her. Adrien quirked his eyebrow at this, wearing a look of mild confusion that always seemed to be his response to Marinette’s _awkwardness._

“Hello to you too, Adrien.” Alya greeted him, reaching behind her to try and drag Marinette out of her hiding place. ”Well you see, Marinette here was sick yesterday like you were and she tells me she got rained on walking home but I say you two got bitten by some kind of love bug.”

“Love bug?”

“Yeah.” Alya tightened her grip on Marinette but she didn’t budge, determined not to make a fool of herself. Sighing in defeat, her friend finally let her go and went back to talking to Adrien. “Hey, nice scarf, by the way. Where’d you get it?”

 _Scarf?_ Marinette quickly looked at Adrien over Alya’s shoulder and her jaw dropped when she saw the light blue fabric loosely wrapped around his neck. _Her scarf. He’s wearing the scarf she made for him._

“Oh, thanks. I love it too.” Adrien’s face lit up like a thousand fairy lights at the mention of the scarf. His hands found the end of it, cradling the cloth as if it was something precious. “It was a birthday gift from my father.”

_That’s right. He’s wearing the scarf she made for him and unwittingly accepted as a gift from his father._

“Right, right. From your _father_.” Alya nodded, slapping her forehead to make a show of her false bewilderment. “I don’t know why I keep forgetting that. You _love_ it?”

“Yup.” Adrien’s eyes were sparkling, overjoyed by the thought of having gotten a present from his father. _This is why I can’t bring myself to tell him the truth_ , Marinette thought. How could she live with herself if she was the one to take that away from him?

“Well, it looks good on you.” Alya told him, shooting Marinette a look of conspiracy over her shoulder. “Don’t you think it looks good on him, Mari?”

Marinette, who had been busy gawking at Adrien up until that point, did not appreciate being put on the spotlight without any warning. _Tell him he looks good. It’s easy conversation. You can do it._  “Wha-uh. Ye—ha.“ _Nailed it._

It just so happened that she had been blessed with luck in more ways than one and she didn’t have to deal with Alya’s deadpan expression and Adrien’s perplexity for much longer because Nino had arrived. He ran towards them, taking the steps two at a time and latching himself onto Adrien as soon as he was close enough to do so.

"Adrien. Dude. I missed you. Promise me you'll _never ever_ leave my side again."

“Hey, Nino.” Adrien chuckled at the exaggeration, nudging his friend as he spoke. “I was only gone for a day. What could have happened to you?”

Nino’s eyes widened at the question, as if he was recalling something particularly distressing. “No. You and Marinette weren’t here yesterday. So guess who had to listen to someone’s crackpot theories about Ladybug all day long?”

“Stop calling them crackpot theories!” Alya rebuked, narrowing her eyes at him. If there was one thing Alya wouldn’t concede, it was her dedication to the heroes of Paris. She pushed her glasses up with one hand and rested the other on her hip. “They are completely backed up by evidence. And I wasn’t forcing you to listen to me, you could’ve just left anytime but you stayed with me so that’s on you!”

A faint blush spread across Nino’s cheeks as he released his best friend and began muttering something under his breath. Marinette couldn’t help but think that sometimes Alya can be as dense as Adrien was when it came to people who cared about them. She sends Nino a silent encouragement, knowing that the two of them were on the same boat.

“So what theories do you have?” Adrien asked Alya. The gravity of curiosity in his voice was unlike anything Marinette has ever heard from him before.  

 “Oh, you’re never gonna believe this.” Always one for the dramatics, Alya leaned forward and spoke in a stage whisper. “I don’t mean to be one of those tacky gossip bloggers but Ladybug is having a _secret love affair!”_

 “Ladybug is having a _what_?!” Marinette and Adrien exclaimed at the same time.

“A secret love affair!” Alya grinned, jumping in place excitedly as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. After a few taps and swipes here and there, she held out the device to them.

It was a picture from two nights ago of her and Adrien. Well, _Ladybug and Adrien_. The haze of the rain must have blurred the lens of the camera because one couldn’t clearly make out their faces. But of course she knew who it was. Ladybug, in her mask and suit of spots, holding the hand of a boy who had just accepted her offer to be escorted home safely.

“A source sent it to the _Ladyblog_ the other night.” Alya continued, not noticing how alarmingly still Marinette and Adrien had gotten. “Now, I can’t tell who the guy with her is but look at them! Don’t you think that’s her boyfriend?”

“Again, that evidence is circumstantial.” Nino said, sounding like he and Alya have gone over this a dozen times before. “Ladybug’s a hero. That means she deals with civilians all the time. You’ve been there. Who’s to say it’s not one of those instances?”

“Yeah but Ladybug doesn’t hold my hand like that.” Alya pauses for a moment, mulling the thought over. “I wish she would though.”

Having recovered from his half-dazed state, Adrien cleared his throat, preventing the conversation from going further off topic. “I have to say, I agree with Nino on this one. This doesn’t exactly prove that Ladybug is in a romantic relationship with anyone.”

Nino grinned smugly as he patted Adrien on the back. “See? Dude’s always got my back.”

 “Agreste, you have failed me.” Alya glared at Adrien and shook her head. “You were supposed to be the good one.”

“Besides, I thought Ladybug was dating Chat Noir?” Nino spoke idly, wondering out loud.

Marinette choked on her own spit. Ladybug and Chat Noir _dating?_ No. _No no no no no no_. “ _ **No, she's not**_.” She didn’t realize how shrill her voice must have sounded until all three of her friends were looking at her. “What I mean is…I think their relationship is purely professional. Saving the city is a full time job and it’s hard enough as it is without the whole dating thing, don’t you think so?”

Adrien, who had been staring at her during her outburst, now had a ghost of a frown on his face. “I guess they don’t really have time for any of that, huh.”

“Shame, though. The two of them together would be a power couple.” Alya stared off into the distance like she was imagining the scenario before she shrugged her shoulders. “But you’re right. We shouldn’t really pry too much on their personal lives.”

“Says the woman who tries to unmask Ladybug and Chat Noir every chance she gets.” Nino scoffed.

Alya was just about to retort when a white limousine pulled up in front of the steps. Blood seemed to have drained from Adrien’s face and a look of terror passed over him. “Oh no, I don’t think I have the energy for this.”

Nino, who had caught on his friend’s dread, used his body to shield Adrien from the view of the car. “Quick!” In the midst of panicking, he grabbed his hat and dumped it on Adrien’s head. “Disguise!”

“Really now, Einstein?” Alya said dryly, obviously unimpressed.

“We’re under pressure here okay?! You have any better ideas?” Nino countered with evident desperation.

Marinette looked ahead at the car, whose door had just opened and revealed Chloe Bourgeois, shiny and polished, talking on her phone and yet unaware of their presence. “You still have a few seconds if you want to make a run for it.”

Adrien and Nino stared at her like she had just offered them a last minute reprieve. Then they blinked at each other before hurrying towards the school building. It was too late by then, however, as Chloe had already spotted them, heels clacking against the floor as she moved. A mop of honey blonde hair ran past Alya and Marinette, shrieking as it chased the boys inside.

“ _Adrikiiiins!_ ”

From inside, they could hear Nino yell something at Adrien that sounded like “Go, go, go!”

By the entrance of the school Alya, was shaking her head with a silly grin plastered on her face. “Those two are hopeless.”

Marinette thought of Adrien, the crack on his perfectly crafted composure as he tried to get away from Chloe, and Nino, wrapped around her best friend’s finger although she didn’t know just yet. She couldn’t help but agree. “Yeah, they are.”

 

* * *

 

 

In Adrien’s opinion, the most surprising thing about an akuma attack the day he got back to school was that it wasn’t caused by Chloe. Nino and Alya had been passing notes behind him during second period when the door was broken down. In a matter of seconds, a hoard of zombies had swarmed them, trying to get a hold of everyone.

Around him, he saw his classmates try to fight them off or escape their hold, at the very least. Chloe had thrown Sabrina between her and a zombie, forming a human shield. In one corner of the room, Kim was punching another one, daring Alix to take down more enemies than him. Taking advantage of the chaos, Adrien ran past them, looking for a place where he can transform.

The hallway was just as overrun as the classroom. The zombies appeared to have occupied the entire school, gathering their hostages in the court where the akuma stood at the center.

“Come on out, Principal Damocles! See the zombie army The Necromancer has prepared for you!” The akuma turned to his general direction and Adrien recognized a familiar pair of spectacles and spiked hair. Her lab coat had been traded for a white fitted suit and a scepter but Adrien could tell who it was. _Ms. Mendeleiev._ Their chemistry teacher.

He needed to transform, _quick._

Spinning on his heels, he turned to run only to have something crash into his person – no, _someone._

“Oompf. Sorry –“ He looked to find twin pigtails, and a pink purse clutched to chest of his classmate whose eyes were just as wild as his. “Marinette? I was just um---“Adrien tried to think of an excuse as to why he was out here in the open instead of hiding like a normal, sane person.

Marinette was thankfully distracted, nervous laughter coming out of her. “Y-Yeah, me too.” If she was acting strange, Adrien didn’t feel compelled to point it out. With the way he looked right now, God only knows what she thought he could have possibly been doing.

A scream broke out from the distance, startling them both.

Their heads snapped to each other before speaking in unison. “I have to go.” Adrien nodded at her and shot her one last look before they ran in opposite directions.

As he ran down the hallway, looking through glass doors to check if any of the rooms were unoccupied, Adrien could only hope that Marinette went to find a safe place to hide until the attack was over.

When he finally found an empty closet by the stairs, he dashed inside, Plagg flying out of his jacket as he did so.

“Plagg, transform me!”

  

* * *

     

Ladybug was still nowhere to be found when Chat Noir arrived the scene ~~.~~

The akuma had gone from the school court as well, leaving only her legion of zombies crowding the area. “Care to _liven up_ this corpse party?”  He waded through them, jumping on their heads as he whacked the others with his baton. 

“I am The Necromancer,” the akuma called above him. Beside her stood Principal Damocles who appeared to be ready to faint any second now. “And you, Chat Noir, will hand over your Miraculous to me.”

“How about you come and get it from me?” He vaulted to the railing, sprinting on it to get to the akuma. Around him, zombies occupied the hallway, their undead hands trying to push him off the railing. He maneuvered his way across but when one of zombies threw their body against his, he slipped over the edge. His hands struggled to find anything to hold on to until he felt some kind of wire loop around his wrist.

Ladybug was leaning over to look at him with a smirk on her face. “Need a hand?”

“Thanks _fur_ the save.” Chat winked at her.

“Hold the puns, I could still drop you, you know?”  Ladybug warned him, retracting her yoyo until he could jump over the railing beside her.

"Ah, Ladybug, you’ve decided to show up.” The Necromancer ran the tip of her scepter across the Principal’s neck as she spoke. “One more bug for me to squash.”

“No!” Someone cried out from the below them. Chat saw Alya surrounded by zombies in the middle of the court, holding up her phone as she kept filming them. _How did she get there?_ He felt Ladybug going rigid beside him, concerned for the safety of her supposed number one fan.

“I’ll take care of Alya. You get Mr. Damocles.” She directed before dropping to the court, yoyo swinging at her side.

Chat sprinted towards The Necromancer, clearing the path for himself by thwacking the zombies who got in his way. The moment he reached the akuma, he used his baton to make an arc between her and Mr. Damocles, tearing the Principal away from her.

He dragged Mr. Damocles by the arm as he took him to safety, dodging bolts of magic that The Necromancer shot at them from behind. Finding the empty closet where he had transformed earlier, Chat deposited Mr. Damocles inside. “Stay hidden.”

He struck more zombies in the vicinity, sending them flying until he reached the railing where he can see Ladybug down below.

There were times in battle when Chat Noir would have a rare moment of clarity. It was when he would have extreme awareness of everyone’s location and he could see the clear action they would take. That’s what was happening now.

His position, crouched on the railing of the second floor, gave him a view of Ladybug on the court, holding Alya as close to her as possible as she kept the zombies away with her yoyo. He could see her every move, standing strong and proud as she fought enemies left and right with incredible precision and ease.

And above her, directly across Chat Noir, was The Necromancer, surveying the ongoing fight with her scepter raised and pointed at Ladybug.

When Chat jumps this time, it wasn’t an impulse decision. He had run over the different scenarios and possibilities in his head. He could alert Ladybug, call out her name and warn her but that would only distract her from dealing with the zombies on the ground. He could try to take down the akuma before she even got to Ladybug but he would likely not make it in time. So he made his choice, hoping his partner would forgive him for putting himself out of commission so early in the fight.

He was still midair when felt a strong bolt of magic zap him on his back and the last thing he before he passed out was Ladybug mouthing his name.

 

* * *

 

 

It was Ladybug’s miraculous power that recovered him once more. By the time Chat Noir regained his consciousness, Ladybug was already hunched over Ms. Mendeleiev who was kneeling on the floor, looking as disoriented as he felt. “Oh, I didn’t mean for this to happen. He said he would cut funding for the labs unless I made zombies. I’m sorry.” Ms. Mendeleiev sobbed, hiding her face behind her hands.

“It’s alright, Miss.” Ladybug kneeled beside her, taking the Ms. Mendeleiev’s hands in hers. “You’re a great teacher so please don’t beat yourself up over this. It happens to the best of us. You should probably take the rest of the day off, though.

Ms. Mendeleiev somberly nodded at this and thanked her. Rising to her feet, Ladybug’s eyes swept the room until they found Chat and her face contorted into that look again. _That look_ that hurt him so much to see on her, _that look_ , he found just two days ago was because of him.

It was only there for a split second before the composed herself again into the sensible hero that she is. She made her way toward him and held out her fist. “ _Bien Joue!”_

“ _You_ did a great job.” Chat smiled wryly. “ _I_ didn’t do much.”

“That’s not true at all.” Ladybug looked at him as if she found what he had just said incredulous. “You saved Mr. Damocles. You saved _me,_ Chat.”

“Okay, yes but –“

“Just bump the fist, Chat Noir.”

Raising his eyebrows at her resolution, Chat offered her a genuine smile as he did what she asked. “Bien Joue.”

The sound of Ladybug’s miraculous beeping harshly cut through them. Her hands flew to her earrings as if she could keep them from beeping that way. “Chat, we need to talk about –“

“I know.” Chat said, laying his hand on her shoulder.

“Not here, though.” Ladybug shook her head and Chat understood what she meant. She was minutes away from dropping her transformation and the court was still filled with students recovering from the attack. From the far corner, he could even see Alya watching the two of them while Nino fussed over her. He can also hear the sound of cameras clicking from outside. _Reporters._

“Meet me on the school’s rooftop in ten minutes.” Chat pointed to a spot above them.

“Okay. I’ll be there.” And then she was gone, everyone in the vicinity watching her go as she swung away out of their reach.

Left alone to deal with reporters who would much rather be interviewing Ladybug, Chat only gave them the briefest rundown of what had transpired. Trained all his life to be in front of the camera, he smiled politely and waved at them before he bid the reporters goodbye. He extended his baton all the way to the rooftop and dropped there where his Lady would meet him.

_Four minutes before Ladybug gets here._

* * *

 

“Tikki, I don’t know what to tell him.” Marinette paced back and forth in an empty classroom while her kwami munched on cookies to recharge. “I’m the one who said we should talk but I don’t know what to say. What do I tell him, Tikki?”

“Just tell him how you feel, Marinette.” Tikki told her though cookie crumbs littered all over her little kwami face. “Chat Noir has a good heart. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“Alright, I’ll just do it. Like ripping off a band aid. I can do this.” Marinette said, nodding to herself. “I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.”

“I’m ready now.” Shaking the crumbs off, Tikki zipped close to her face and kissed her cheek. “Good luck, Marinette.”

“Tikki, transform me!” Hoping for the best, she called for her transformation and swung away.

When she finally arrived at their meeting spot, Chat Noir seemed to be lost in thought. His cat ears straightened upon seeing her as he sauntered to her, kissing the back of her hand. “Hello, My Lady.”

The touch of his lips on her gloved hand burned holes that reached her skin. She took her hand back with haste and patted his cheek instead. “Easy there, kitty.”

Careful not to overstep his boundaries, Chat took a step back and smiled at her apologetically. “So, LB, what happened there after I was…out?”

Ladybug froze.

What happened after Chat Noir jumped from the second floor of her school building to take a hit meant for her? The akuma’s magic had turned Chat into one of her zombie minions and she had to wonder which was worse, Chat being magically taken from her mid-battle or having to fight her partner whose face twisted into a look of pure hatred directed at her. Both choices were awful.

“You were one of the zombies.” Her voice was surprisingly steady when she spoke.

“Ah,” Chat leaned back, hand on his hip like he was posing for a magazine. “Would you say that I looked drop _dead_ gorgeous?”

She tried to give him a half-hearted laugh but it came out a choked sob. _I can’t do this. I have to tell him now._ “Chat, I –-“ Her inner turmoil must have shown in her face somehow because he suddenly dropped all pretenses of vanity and went to her.

“Ladybug?” Chat clasped her arm. His grip was light, impossibly kind, but the sincerity his eyes showed was intense. Too much, it hurt.

She opened her mouth again, an attempt to tell him. How frightened she was in that moment. How mad she was at him for never saving himself. How much she wanted all the danger to go away, once and for all. But the words wouldn’t come out and she could only swallow as she shook her head again at him.

“Hey, it’s okay.” His palm was cool against her cheek and he was much _much_ closer now. Their foreheads touching as he traced patterns under her eyes and he was giving her _that look_. _That look_ that made her want to crawl up under his skin and never ever leave. _That look_ that terrified her to her very core. “I know, My Lady. Adrien told me. I _know_ and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Her eyes widened and before she could think too hard about it, she inched towards him and wrapped her arms around him relief. That he was safe here with her. That he _knew_ what she wanted to say even when she couldn’t tell him because he was Chat Noir. And Chat was always there where she failed.

They’ve known each other for more than a year now but Chat Noir had never seen her cry before. Ladybug had always been careful to maintain a level-head around him. One of them had to rational after all and God knows it wasn’t going to be Chat who was so full of heart. This meant that her emotions had to be put in the backburner. Until now.

All rationality flew out the window as she crumbled in the safety of his embrace. She hugged him for all the times she wanted to but never did every time she brought him back. Her tears soaked Chat’s costume but he didn’t seem to mind. He only pulled her tighter against him, whispering words of apology over and over again in her ear.

“Please, Chat.” She hiccupped against his shoulder once she calmed down a bit. “Please don’t do anything like that again.”

She could feel his gloved hands running up and down her back, a known gesture of comfort between them. His chest rumbled against hers as he spoke. “Ladybug, you know I can’t promise you that.”

It took every ounce of willpower she had to rip herself away from him. She stepped away from him and let her eyes gaze pierce into his.  “Chat, I can handle myself in battle just fine. I don’t want you taking hits meant for me.”

“I know that more than anyone. I know how strong you are.” He followed her step, reaching for her hand as he moved.

“I can’t lose you.” Ladybug’s lips pressed together in a tight line and she knew she was being stubborn, selfish even, but she didn’t care. It was the truth.

“I can’t lose you either. But today wasn’t me doing something stupid.” His voice was soft, his eyes begging her to understand. “I saw you there holding them off while trying to protect a civilian and I saw the akuma about to attack you. I weighed the consequences in my head and made a logical decision, I swear to you.”

Ladybug’s brows were still furrowed in thought, not entirely convinced, so he continued. “Look, from now on, no more unnecessary risks on my part but I’m telling you that if it ever came down to the point where I would have to put myself in danger to save you, I wouldn’t think twice about it. I would take the bullet for you, _always_ , and you can’t tell me not to do that because I know _you_ would do it for _me_ too.”

She only stared at him, eyes shining, because he was right. _God, how she hated it when he was right._ She would do it, take a bullet for him in a heartbeat and so much more. It wasn’t fair to ask him not do something she would do herself. “Okay, you protect me, I protect you.”

“Yep.” Chat said with a silly smile on his face.

“And we’d kick Hawkmoth’s ass when we get our hands on him.” Ladybug continued.

Chat laughed at this. “Definitely, we will. To the moon and back.”

She can’t remember why she was so anxious to have this conversation. Talking to Chat was easy and she felt so might lighter afterwards. _Chat has a good heart,_ Tikki said, and she was endlessly thankful for that.

She flashed him an identical grin as she went to hug him again, arms winding around his neck while her hands ran over his blond hair. He hummed against her hair and she knew they were both safe here, in this space that was theirs.

An overwhelming sense of affection filled her, threatening to spill over her chest when Chat held her this time. It was strange, her feet were planted safely on the roof but she felt something akin to flying and free falling at the same time.

She figured that was something she could worry about another day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *casually bumps the rating and chapter count*
> 
> ha ha ha writing an akuma fight is a sure way to die
> 
> please leave me comments because i'm a lonely bug


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can lay your questions down // ‘cause if you’ll hold me // we can fade into the night and you’ll know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which poor Marinette can't catch a break

 

 

“Are you absolutely sure you’re okay?” Alya asked Marinette for the third time over the phone.

It was a week after The Necromancer incident when the next akuma attack happened. The battle hadn’t been difficult in particular, especially with Chat Noir, true to his word, acting with caution instead of instinct alone. Knowing that her partner was no longer running around with the intent to throw himself in the line of fire at every opportunity was certainly a weight off of Ladybug’s chest.

Currently, it was Marinette who finds herself wishing she could somehow manage to convince Alya to make the same promise as Chat Noir.

“Yes, I am.  And don’t turn this on me, Alya.” Marinette sat in her room, scrolling across the _Ladyblog_ to find a report on that morning’s akuma attack, complete with pictures and video clips that were way too close to the action for her liking.  “You’re the one who went running into the crossfire, _again._ That’s twice in a row now that you’ve endangered yourself.”

“They don’t call the _Ladyblog_ the best source for action for nothing! Some sacrifices have to be made for the sake of journalistic integrity.” Alya huffed, pride oozing with every word.

 “And those sacrifices include your life?” Marinette pouted, closing the window of Alya’s blog on her computer.

 “Mari, you worry too much.” The sound of clicking and typing grew louder on Alya’s end and Marinette could only guess what she could possibly be doing. “Besides, Ladybug always comes to save me anyway.”

“You must be her favorite, then.” Marinette chuckled, winking at Tikki who sat comfortably atop her computer monitor.

“ _Pseesh, I wish._ Ladybug doesn’t play favorites. It’s her duty to protect all civilians.” Alya said, pausing for a few seconds before she continued. “She does know me by name, though. And she once told me she reads my blog! Can you believe it? _Ladybug. Reads. My. Blog.”_

“Lots of people read your blog. It’s not unlikely that Ladybug does too.” _In fact, she was doing just that before you called her._ “But seriously Alya, can’t you at least stay on the sidelines during the next akuma attack?”

 “Okaaaaay, Marinette. I’ll stay on the sidelines during the _next_ akuma attack.” Alya hummed on the other end of the line.

“Alya—“ Marinette began as Tikki flew past her to the plate of cookies on her desk that she had set for the kwami.

 “Oops, gotta go.” Alya interrupted, a ringing sound in her background. “That’s Nino’s calling me on Skype. Probably to lecture me just like you.”

Marinette broke off into a grin, unable to keep herself from teasing her friend about her romantic endeavors. “You and Nino are Skype buddies now, huh?”

 “Yes, because we are two people who are capable of having a conversation without either of us foaming at the mouth. Quite fun. You should try it.” Alya said, her tone heavily laced with sarcasm.

“ _Hey_!”

“I’m kidding. Mostly.” Her laughter didn’t make Marinette feel better, who was still frowning at her phone.  “By the way, we’re still on for _Vivien’s tomorrow right?”_

“Yep, we are. I’ll see you tomorrow. Now you go talk to Nino. Maybe he can get through to you.”

Putting her phone down, she turned to Tikki who had just finished half of her chocolate-chip cookie. “Does my Ladybug luck have anything to do with me getting two best friends who are both _so stubborn?_ ”

“I think you mean willful and determined.” Tikki giggled, nuzzling her cheek as she floated next to her. “And while we’re on the subject, Marinette, you still have to meet Chat Noir for patrol.”

Eyes widening in shock as she checked the time, she scrambled to her feet, ready to leave. She was already late to patrol. ”Tikki, are you ready to go now?”

“Ready.”

“Alright then, Tikki, transform me!”

Ladybug took off, swinging from one rooftop to another while checking the city fabric for any disturbances. Since the first time Ladybug and Chat Noir saved Paris, there hadn’t been much conflict of non-magical nature to report, and if there ever was, it didn’t fall under their jurisdiction, anyway. Still, the superhero duo took it upon themselves to look after the city for safety measure. You can never to be too careful, after all.

By the time she landed on Champ de Ulysses, she was out of breath and prepared to see Chat snickering at her terrible punctuality. Except Chat Noir wasn’t there. Unusual, considering that he has always arrived before her for the last few days. _Is he not coming?_ He wasn’t obligated to patrol tonight, in the first place.

They used to take turns watching the city every night. But after their talk when they defeated the Necromancer, Ladybug had shown up at Notre Dame during Chat’s night in the guise of reinforcement. Her partner, apparently, took this as permission to accompany her on patrol duty the following night.

Which is how they ended up patrolling together every night for a week.

Besides, the job was far easier with two people, allowing them to cover greater ground in less time. _It’s for efficiency._ That’s the excuse she gave herself. It just so happened that Chat’s outlandish antics caused laughter to bubble in her throat and that the jumps they made together seemed to last a little longer, as if they were mocking gravity.

In the distance, she saw something move, alternating between rocketing into the sky and dropping with catlike poise. _Chat Noir._ The bell in his throat glistened as it caught the moonlight, and Ladybug noticed that she was clutching what appeared to be a basket in his hand.

 “I believe I must _apawlogize_ for being late,” Chat Noir said upon his arrival, dropping on one knee to kiss her hand. “Has the Lady been waiting long?”

Ladybug retrieved her hand, pinching the bridge of Chat’s nose instead. “The only thing you have to _apologize_ for is that the first word out of your mouth is a pun. And a pretty bad one, at that.”

“I know you actually enjoy my puns. However bad you say they are.” Standing on his feet, Chat waggled his eyebrows at her in a manner so exaggerated she couldn’t help but laugh.

She did enjoy them, to be honest. But there was no way she was admitting that to Chat lest she be bombarded with it for as long as she lived. “Keep dreaming, Kitty.”  Ladybug eyed the basket he carried with curiosity. “What do you have there?”

Chat’s ears perked up at the question. “Oh, this!” He held up the basket between them, removing the cloth cover to reveal its contents. “ _Empanadas!”_

  _“Empanadas?”_

“Mhm, we hired a new personal chef today. She’s from Spain and her specialty is Spanish cuisine so she’s been making me these and letting me sneak a few because she finds me lovable.”

Ladybug chose to ignore the last part of Chat’s statement, amused by a recent discovery about her partner. “ _Personal chef_? Why, Chat Noir, I didn’t know you were a well-bred cat. You’re a rich boy, huh?”

Color flooded his cheeks at Ladybug’s teasing tone. “It’s my family that’s rich, not me. And it’s not really something I like to bring up.”

This was already more than they have ever shared with each other about their lives as civilians yet she wanted to know _more._ If she prodded, she knew Chat would yield, give her answers and everything. However, she was still in the right mind to understand that was out of the question because they simply _couldn’t_.

Chat Noir retrieved a piece of _empanada_ from the basket and offered it to her. “You want one?”

 “I don’t know, I’ve never had them before.” Her parents were bakers, which meant that she generally knew her way around bread. But she was mostly accustomed to French pastries and confectionaries and this was definitely not like any of that.

 “Neither have I until yesterday. They’re _amazing_ , though.” Chat had a ridiculously dreamy look on his face, made all the more hilarious by the fact that he was thinking about food. “Trust me.”

 _Well, that does it._ Ladybug took the _empanada_ from Chat and bit down on it. The perfect combination of bread, meat, and vegetables filled her mouth and she had to agree with Chat. “Oh my god, that’s so _good_.”

Chat Noir chuckled at her reaction. “What did I tell you?”

 “Can I have another?” Her hand was already reaching for a piece before she could even finish the question. Still laughing, Chat reclaimed the basket, draping the cloth over it to keep it away from her.

 “You can have as much as you like later, My Lady,” Chat Noir gestured to the city, reminding them both that they had a job to do before snacks could be consumed. “For now, duty calls.”

Ladybug frowned, disappointed at herself that all it took for his partner to distract her was food. _And I was supposed to be the responsible one._

“Aw, come on now, Bugaboo. We can eat at _Trocadero_ once we’re done patrolling.” An all-too-familiar glint in Chat Noir eye formed, matching the Cheshire grin he was currently wearing. “We can make it a race.”

Raising her eyebrows at the challenge, Ladybug lifted her chin up to look at him. “You know I’m much, _much_ faster than you, right?”

“Oh, I know,” Chat winked at her, basket already tucked in his arm as he extended his baton and repositioned his body, ready for take-off. “Which is why I get a headstart!” And then he was gone, already at the next roof while she gaped in shock.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” She shouted, whipping her yoyo and throwing it at chimney of the building across.  She took a step forward from where she was standing on the edge, and swung, following Chat Noir on his trail.

It didn’t take her long to catch up to him. It wasn’t that hard when you knew every twist and turn, every shortcut within the city. Evidently, Chat knew them, too. And she could hear his random hoots and whoops of jubilation close by.

She landed on top of the _Trocadero Palace_ first, taking delight in her victory as she watched her partner advancing. Chat Noir followed not even a minute later, dropping next to her with an enamored look on his face before bowing his head. “Amazing as always, My Lady.”

“Why, thank you.” The feeling of exhilaration after running around the city invigorated her driving her to return Chat’s bow with a curtsy of her own. “You’re not bad yourself, _chaton._ Though, I have to be honest. I was a little more focused on getting here that I was on patrol.”

 “Ah, me too. I guess Paris will have to manage itself for the night.” Chat sat down, throwing his legs over the edge and swinging it back and forth. He uncovered the basket, placing it down next to him and motioning at it. “Now, the Lady needs to eat.”

Ladybug’s stomach rumbled, weak to the sight of the delicacies set in front of her. Taking the spot on the other side of the basket, Ladybug gave it a closer inspection and found boxes of apple juice that Chat brought for them too. She beamed at him so blindingly before helping herself to the food.

They ate in silence. Which was a relief because silence meant Chat Noir wasn’t cracking any puns to kill the mood. There was only the quiet buzzing in her head, a twinge of joy she couldn’t quite explain as she sat with her partner, admiring the view of city that they worked so hard to protect.

Ladybug wishes they had more nights likes this.

“Thank you for the treat, Chat.” She spoke quietly, careful not to disturb the tranquility of the moment.

“If I knew that your stomach was the way to heart, I would started bringing food a long time ago.” Chat said with a look of half mirth, half something else.

 “That wasn’t just food. That was almost an entire picnic. You wouldn’t happen to have a blanket somewhere in there too, would you?” She defended, poking the weave of the basket with her finger.

“If you’re cold, I can always keep you warm. Cats are very snuggly creatures, I’ll have you know.” Chat grinned, patting himself on the shoulder.

She wasn’t even cold, not really. All she was doing was mocking Chat and his tendency to overdo things. She certainly wasn’t impressed by his tacky lines either, if the deadpan expression she gave him wasn’t enough indication. Which is why she doesn’t know what came over her when she pushed the basket behind them so she can press her side against his. Or when she lifted Chat’s arm to tuck herself comfortably under it and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Clearly, Chat wasn’t expecting his offer to be met positively, if the sharp intake of breath he took was anything to go by. After recovering from his brief state of shock, Chat’s hand eventually found its way around her shoulders, reaching for her pigtails as he sighed against the top of her head.

 “Too skinny.” Ladybug squeezed Chat’s waist, mildly alarmed at how easily she could envelope him. “You’re way too skinny to be snuggly. Should I be the one bringing you food?”

Chat laughed, a deep rumble that vibrated from his body to hers. “Does my Lady have a personal chef who would let her sneak a few snacks, too?”

 _No, but my parents run the best bakery in Paris and I bet you’d like their pastries._ “I don’t need a personal chef to make sure that my partner doesn’t keel over because of malnutrition.”

“I’m not malnourished.” Chat hugged her tightly, ruffling her hair with his face. “You worry too much, Bugaboo.”

Ladybug pouted at him, poking his cheek affectionately while at it. “You worry too little.” _I’m definitely feeding him next time._

Chat only laughed again before going back to nosing her hair.

She closed her eyes and leaned into him.

Touching was easier before when their affection could hide behind masks of comforting gestures. It meant something else now. Something heavier. When they had just finished racing across rooftops leaving ghosts of merry laughter on their trail and now they sat on top of the _Trocadero Palace_ with their sides pressed against each other. No need for comfort, no reason touch. _And yet she wanted to get closer still._

“I’m fine.” Chat whispered, his lips brushing her temple as he spoke. “I’m fine like this.”

With the buzzing in her head growing louder now, she opened her eyes too look at Chat. And she felt her heart stop.

She had seen him with a sly grin before, when he would make jokes he thought were funny. And the feline smirk he wore when he was trying to charm their fans. And even the victorious smiles they shared after a hard-won battle. _This_ wasn’t anything like that.

 _This_ was Chat Noir, his eyes closed as he hummed against her, a perfect picture of fulfilment. As if he was right where he needed to be, here with her. And it was like seeing Chat Noir for the first time because a sudden realization struck her, like an arrow shot through her heart.

This what Chat Noir, her best friend, her partner. And he loved her. He was _actually_ _in love_ with her.

She supposed the badly-timed flirting, and magnanimous declarations of love should have clued her in. But those displays were all too preposterous to be true that she assumed it was some kind of game they played. Until now.

Her breath hitched in her throat as he tore herself away from Chat, getting back on her feet to catch her bearings. Chat watched her, face twisting into a look of wild confusion. “Ladybug? Is something wrong?”

“Chat—I didn’t know – I can’t ---“ Her words were coming out in high squeaks, as she felt the panic beginning to rise up in her.

“Are you okay?” His tone was gentle as he tried to take her hand in his. “Did I something? I’m sorry  --“

“ _No!”_ She cried, her hand held up between them, a barrier telling Chat not to come any closer because she can’t think with him all around her. She saw his face fall at her violent reaction and it made her hurt all over again. “No, Chat. Don’t apologize. _Please_. I just…need to leave.”

_This isn’t fair. To me or to him. This is completely unfair._

“Okay.” Chat said, his eyes soft, _patient_. “Is there anything I can do?”

She shook her head, taking a deep breath to calm herself down. “I just need some time to think about….stuff. Goodnight, Chat.”

And then she _fled_ , getting away from him as fast as she can. The city was a blur, faces of bricks and stone that seemed to meld into one as she passed them on her way home. By the moment her feet her balcony, she was already halfway through her detransformation.

Pulling the latch on her skylight, Marinette fell into her bed with Tikki following close behind and let the exhaustion wash over her. Posters of Adrien pasted on her walls stared at her, and for once, it didn’t make her feel any better. She grabbed a pillow above her head, hugging it to her chest for comfort and belatedly recognizing that she was holding her _cat_ pillow.

 “He loves me, Tikki. Chat Noir’s in love with me.” She whispered.

Her kwami settled beside her, smiling sadly as she kissed pressed a light kiss to her cheek. “Oh, Marinette. I know.”

“What do I do now?”

Ladybug prided herself in her ability to collect herself under the heat of battle. But it was always Chat Noir that undid her. The thought of losing him, the idea of him loving her. **_Him_**.

And Marinette was lying awake in the middle of the night because her entire perspective of her partner has shifted and she didn’t know where to go from there. The very thought terrified her, so she hugged the pillow tighter.

 

* * *

 

 

Adrien didn’t realize he had fallen asleep in class until Nino was vehemently shaking him awake.

“Hey, man, wake up. Class is ending.” Nino whisper shouted at him, pointing in front of the room where Miss Bustier was giving a reading assignment for the class.

“Your reading comprehension assignment will be due next week. Are there any more questions?” Miss Bustier looked up from her tablet, eyes scanning the room and landing on Adrien as if she knew that he had been dozing off. Adrien had the decency to sit up straighter as he tried to blink the sleep away from his eyes. “If there’s none, I’ll see you all next week.”

The chatter among the class increased as their teacher left, everyone in a hurry to leave. Adrien was just about to gather his things when he noticed Nino, eyeing him suspiciously from his seat.

 “What’s up with you?” Nino asked.

“What do you mean?” Adrien blinked at his friend with faux innocence. He knew exactly what he meant. He’s been zoning in and out of conversations since this morning, only half paying attention to everything which somehow lead to him agreeing to have lunch with Chloe without even realizing it.

“You’ve been out of it all day. Did something happen?” Nino propped his chin on his hand, prepared to listen to him vent.

 _Did something happen?_ He’s been asking himself that all night. After Ladybug had all but bolted away from him, he reevaluated everything that happened, trying to figure out what could have possibly made her run. Was it something he did? Did he say something he shouldn’t have? Had he been taking too many liberties by holding her like he did?

The last few days before last night had been a dream for him. To be allowed to hold her hand, to stay in her embrace and to just _see her_. He didn’t mind that it would all be gone come midnight. Or that it didn’t mean the same thing to her as it did for him. Because she was there and that was enough for him.

But maybe even that was asking for too much because to have it all ripped away for some unknown reason seemed brutally fitting, somehow. 

 Adrien sighed. “Just didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

Nino narrowed his eyes at him, leaning to inspect his face from a closer distance. “Is your father running you to the ground again? What is it this time? Midnight shoot or something? Damn, your old man only ever lets you out of your cage to work for him.”

  
“You make it sound like he’s holding me in prison or something.”

"He might as well be. With all the freedom he gives you." Since that time his father refused to give Adrien the birthday party he wanted and instead ended up accusing his best friend of being a bad influence, Nino has never been a fan of Gabriel Agreste and his parenting method, or lack thereof.

Adrien was just about to defend the routine of his life, if only for the sake of it, when Alix sprinted past him, getting everyone’s attention when she slammed her fist on the table in front.

“Anyone up for dodgeball?” Alix announced to the class. “I’m making Kim buy me lunch for a week when I beat him.”

“ _When_ you beat me? I could literally crush you with one hand. How are you going to beat me?” Kim dared, making a show of cracking his knuckles one by one.

“Not literally. That’s highly unlikely.” Max quipped beside Kim, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Not impossible. Just very, very, unlikely.”

“It’s dodgeball, not a fist fight.” Alix contended, raising one brow at Kim.

“ _Dodgeball?_ What are you, a bunch of twelve-year-olds? _”_ Chloe scoffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she stood up. “Come on, Sabrina.” Her heels clacked against the floor as she walked, Sabrina trailing on her wake with a sneer that matched Chloe’s.

“So…. _they’re_ out.” Alix said, cocking her head in the direction where Chloe and Sabrina had just left.

“We’ll play.” Adrien announced, raising Nino’s arm with his. His friend only stared at him flatly, seeing right through the fact that he was using dodgeball as an excuse to _dodge_ their conversation.

“Us, too!” He turned around to see Alya nudging Marinette who looked, well, _like him_ – dazed, unfocused, and only half-aware of her surroundings. Upon seeing him watching them, Alya wiggled her eyebrows at him exaggeratedly which made him spin back around.

In front of the room, Alix was grinning as she pumped a fist in the air. “Awesome! Let’s go!”

When Adrien agreed to participate in a game of dodgeball, his main intention was to keep Nino from asking questions he couldn’t answer. As much as he hated keeping secrets from his best friend, he couldn’t very well tell Nino about Ladybug, after all.

However, in all his exhaustion, what Adrien failed to consider was that playing dodgeball meant actually having to do some dodging. Because the next thing he knew, a ball was being hurled in his direction with lightning speed, and his state of weariness and absentmindedness had rendered his reflexes useless.

Which allowed the ball to hit him squarely in the face.

He had taken far worse hits before as Chat Noir, even gotten thrown off a roof once. But this specific hit was particularly painful partly because he out of costume and partly because he could have sworn that the force behind that throw was beyond normal.

Beside him, Alya gasped loudly as the ball dropped to the ground, bouncing its way to a far off corner. When the dark spots in his vision cleared, he saw Marinette on the other side of the court, one hand flying to her mouth while the other remained extended in front of her.

 _She must have been the one who threw the ball,_ Adrien thought. _Marinette’s crazy strong._

 Marinette yelped, eyes wide in both shock in distress. “I’m sorry. _I’msorryi’msorryi’msor—“_

Adrien gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile, holding up his hand to prevent her from further panicking. “It’s fine, Marinette.”

Making his way out of the court, he shrugged at Nino who was gawping at him like he’d grown a second head. Around him, the rest of his classmates were staring in equal disbelief. Kim’s jaw dropping as he pointed at him. “No way. Adrien’s the first one out?” 

_Oh, right._

Whenever the class played dodgeball before (or anything involving physical ability), it was always him or Marinette who won (which is why they were never allowed to be on the same team). And it frustrated Kim to no end.

“Yeah, well, my team’s still gonna kick your ass!” Adrien heard Alix taunt as he sat on a bench.

His eyes were on the game before him but his mind was elsewhere. Because even when he tried not to think about Ladybug, he couldn’t help but wonder. _What could have happened to her? How is she doing right now?_

“Holy shit! I can’t believe it!” Alix’s voice boomed across the court, cutting his train of thought. “Marinette’s down too!”

From where he sat, he can only see Marinette’s back hunched forward as Rose patted her shoulder.

“That means it’s anyone’s game now.” Kim yelled as he aimed the ball at Alix.

He saw Marinette walking in his direction as she left the court. Adrien waved at her. “Hey!”

“H-Hi!” Marinette’s voice was a pitch higher than normal when she spoke, an unnaturally wide grin plastered on her face.

“Kinda sucks to be sitting on the bench so early in the game, huh?” He asked as Marinette sat beside her carefully, fiddling with the ends of her shirt.

 “Yes! Sorry about your face again! I mean – I don’t’ mean sorry about your face. You have a nice face. I meant sorry. For hitting you. In the face. Argh.”

By now, Adrien had gotten used to Marinette’s odd behavior around him. It used to bother him back when he chalked it up to the fact that she might still harbor some lingering hatred towards him from _the gum incident._ But after Nino had reassured him over and over again that Marinette “most definitely absolutely certainly does not dislike” him, Adrien just figured it might have had something to do with his father being Marinette’s fashion idol and that she felt intimidated by his son’s presence.

 “Really, it’s okay. It’s dodgeball. You’re supposed to hit me with the ball.”

“Not in your face!” Marinette gestured at his face wildly, her cheeks lightly tinged with pink. “I can’t believe I just threw a ball at Adrien’s face.” Marinette said under her breath and Adrien didn’t think he was supposed to hear that.

“Don’t worry about it, Marinette. It was my fault anyway for not paying attention during the game.” Adrien said in attempt to pacify his classmate.

Marinette only sighed in defeat, her bangs fell over her face hiding the top half of it. “I was a little distracted, too, so it’s still partially my fault.”

“Agree to share the blame, then.” He said, offering her a smile of truce.

Marinette laughed half-heartedly before getting lost in her own thoughts again, seemingly forgetting that he was even there. Not wanting to disrupt her, Adrien focused his attention back on the game before him. He saw watched Ivan and Alya get eliminated at the same time by Kim.

As they walked off the court, Adrien also beckoned them in his direction like he did with Marinette. However, when Alya’s eyes landed on him and Marinette and then back on him again, she winked instead and then dragged Ivan with her to the opposite side of the court.

 _What was that?_ He turned to Marinette who now was staring off into space, clearly distraught about something.

Adrien wasn’t the most knowledgeable person when it came to friendship and social interactions and how it all worked. Prior to attending public school a year ago, he had no real experience with having peers in his age group. Well, except for Chloe, but he very much doubted that their uncanny relationship could be used as a reference point.

This meant that he didn’t know what to now that a classmate of his that he so desperately wanted to befriend was looking troubled and said classmate’s best friend had all but entrusted her to him.

He cleared his throat before he began carefully, “Marinette? Are you okay?”

She recoiled upon hearing his question, drawing back to herself as if she was trying to fold her own body and disappear. “No – I just had a rough night.”

“Oh. What happened?” Adrien asked. He hadn’t known Marinette that long but her compassionate nature had not escaped him. He noticed how she was always the one trying to fix everyone’s problems and it wasn’t out of obligation as class president. No, Marinette genuinely cared about people.

And now, Adrien wanted to help her. Or at the very least, listen to her.

For a moment, it looked like Marinette wasn’t going to say anything, until she took a deep shuddering breath and spoke. “I did something horrible to a friend of mine last night.”

His immediately fixated on Alya way across them, who was watching them intently but pretending not to as she hid behind Ivan.

“It’s not Alya.” Marinette added quickly, following his gaze and catching on his thoughts. Her tone dropped, dejection reflected in ever part of her face. “But he’s my best friend, too. And I just realized I’ve been an awful friend to him all this time.”

“Marinette, you’re not an awful friend.” Adrien said, as if on impulse. But he believed it wholeheartedly. How could Marinette think so badly of herself when she was once of the most considerate people he knew?

“You don’t know that.” Marinette pouted, disbelieving.

“I do know. You’re a great friend to Alya, and to everyone in our class.” Adrien saw Marinette staring at him flatly. “Okay, maybe not with Chloe.”

 “No, you don’t understand. What I’ve done is absolutely unjustifiable.” Marinette grumbled.

“You might have made a mistake with this friend of yours but that doesn’t make you horrible.” Adrien reassured her. “I’m sure your friend knows that and he’ll forgive you if you apologized.”

Marinette wore an impassive expression as he whispered to herself. “He always does. Even when he really shouldn’t.”

“Marinette,” Adrien said, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t know what you did that you think is so terrible but I can see that you honestly regret it. If it it were me, I can’t think of anything you could possibly do that I wouldn’t forgive for you for.”

“You…” Marinette still look baffled as she stared at him but she looked a lot less upset now.  “Okay.”

The sound of their classmates cheering startled them both. They didn’t even realize the game had ended and it was Rose who was the last person standing on the court. Because who would ever throw a ball at someone as sweet as Rose?

 

* * *

 

 

“Do you respond to every one of them?” Marinette rested her chin on Alya’s shoulder as she went through the comments section on her blog while they rode the metro.

 “Not all of them. Just the ones with questions that need to be answered.” Alya said, clicking on one particular comment and typing with lightning speed before hitting the reply button. Marinette heard her sneer as she scrolled further down the page. “I especially ignore the needlessly nasty ones.”

Marinette looked over Alya’s shoulder to see the comment.

Guest: Kids these days are such busybodies. Stop being a pest and leave the reporting to actual reporters. 

On her reflection on the phone, she saw Alya’s expression darken for a minute. Leaning back to get a better look at her friend, Marinette placed her hand over her friend’s arm. “Don’t mind people like that.”

Frowning at the phone, Marinette leaned back to get a better look at her friend. Seeing her expression darken the slightest bit, she laid a hand on her arm. “Don’t mind people like that. No one actually thinks you’re a pest.”

“I know.” Alya sighed against her. “I usually don’t give them the time of day but still. Bummer.”

 “Hey, you’re great at what you do.” Marinette said, nudging Alya beside her. “I’m not the biggest fan of you putting yourself in danger but even I can’t deny that you’re the best at covering akuma-related incidents.”

Alya blinked at her through her eyeglasses, still unconvinced.

“And I’m not just saying that because I’m your best friend and I kinda have to.” Marinette went on animatedly. “I really believe it. Honest. Local news channels are sourcing you and asking to use your footage. That’s really cool.”

“It’s been a great way of putting my name out there, if anything.” Alya said, the ghost of a smile beginning to form on her face.

“Alya Cesaire, news reporter.” Marinette waved her hand in the air enthusiastically, paying no heed to the looks that the other passengers were sending her. “Yes, you’ll be the next Nadja Chamack.”

“Actually, I can’t be the next Nadja Chamack…” Alya trailed off, cocking her head to the side in thought.

“Alya---“ Marinette began, all set to annihilate any remaining doubt her friend had about her abilities.

“No, I mean…I’m not gonna be the next Nadja Chamack.” Alya amended, sneaking a glance at Marinette to see her reaction to what she was about to say. “Because I don’t plan to be a news reporter.”

“Oh.” Marinette said quietly as her face contorted into a look of perplexity. “You don’t? Since when?”

“A while now.” Alya shrugged, her eyes wandering to a poster of Ladybug on the metro ad space. “All this business about superheroes made me realize that I wanted to write about things that are out of the ordinary?”

“Out of the ordinary?”

“What can be more _extraordinary_ than two magical superheroes fighting a magical supervillain?” Alya chuckled, pushing her glasses up her nose. “I don’t know yet but I intend to look for it all over France. Maybe all over the world.”

Marinette nodded, beaming at Alya as she did so.  “I can see it. That sounds a lot like you.”

“But of course I’ll be coming back to Paris every now and then. If only to follow the journey of a young designer breaking into the fashion industry.” Alya said, looking up at her.

The voice of the metro conductor resounded through the speakers, announcing their stop. As they stepped out of the train, Alya kept an iron grip around Marinette’s wrist, having lost her in the rush hour crowd so many times before.

Vivien’s store was in sight as they got out of the station. It was a small boutique down the street that sold vintage clothes and accessories. Marinette had found it months ago while fighting an akuma in the area, and even as Ladybug, he couldn’t help but stop for a second to admire the display on the window. She had hauled Alya with her the following day after class to get a good look at the shop and they’ve been coming back since then.

“You’re a lot chipper now.” Alya said, noting Marinette’s humming and the skip in her steps as they walked. “Are you excited for clothes shopping or did talking to Adrien help your mood after all?”

“Talking to –“Marinette gasped, stopping dead in her tracks as she recalled a particular conversation from earlier. “Oh my God. I was talking to _Adrien_.”

 “You were.” Alya nodded.

“Me. Talking. To Adrien.” Marinette spoke slowly, enunciating each word properly as she made sense of the entire thing. .

Adrien. The boy she liked for as long as she can remember but couldn’t quite get close to because her brain always seemed to turn to mush whenever he was around. Sure, they’d hung out before when they played video games at her house and when he helped her with her great uncle. But occurrences like than were rarer that Marinette coming to class on time and she chastised herself for not even being aware of it because she was busy brooding about ---

“Uh-huh. Mostly in full sentences, too, if I’m not wrong.” Alya grinned. “I gotta say, I’m quite proud.”

In frustration, Marinette slumped against Alya, her groan muffled by her friend’s shoulder. “I was sulking so much that I don’t even remember half of it.  _Alyaaaaaa._ ”  

 “So you can only talk to him when you’re unaware of it, hmm?” Alya pondered briefly as she lugged Marinette with her. “Would it help if you were inebriated?”

This earned her a scowl from Marinette as they reached the shop. Grinning cheekily at her, Alya pushed the door open, the bell chiming as they entered.

“Marinette, Alya! I was wondering when you’d come by.” Putting down a book she had been reading, the pretty blonde woman sitting behind the counter greeted them as they came in.

 “Hello, Vivien!” Alya beamed, looking around the store in jest. “Do you have anything with alcohol? My girl here some liquid confidence!”

“ _Alya_!”

Vivien furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Aren’t you girls underage?”

“Please ignore her.” Marinette huffed, pulling on Alya’s sleeve as she talked to Vivien. “We’re not really looking for anything in particular. Just came by to see whatever you had.”

“Oh, that’s great. There’s actually something around here I think the two of you might like.” Setting her book aside, Vivien walked to the door behind the counter and motioned for them to follow.

After exchanging a look of surprise, Marinette and Alya went after Vivien to the back room. They were met with several racks of clothing and boxes on the floor marked ‘hats’, ‘belts’, and ‘shoes’. In the eye of the storm of apparels was Vivien, retrieving something from a rack.

 “I didn’t want to put them out in case someone else wanted to buy them. I thought you should see them first.”  When she finally found what she was looking for, Vivien held up two outfits for them to see.

One was a faded blue jumper shorts over a pink and white striped long sleeved top. The other was a fiery layered chiffon cocktail dress held up by spaghetti straps that seemed to burn out as it ended. At the sight of the two ensembles, Marinette heard herself sigh as she admired them.

“Do you want to try them on?” Vivien asked.

 “Yes, please!” Her excitement was barely contained, seeping through every part of her as she clapped her hands together. “They’re wonderful.”

Reaching for the jumper for herself, Marinette handed the dress to Alya. Her friend stared at the lump of cloth in her hands and then back at her. “Wait a minute. Why do I get the dress?”

“Because that dress is practically made for you and believe me, you are definitely going to rock that.” Marinette said, pushing Alya to the direction of the dressing rooms.

“Well, you _are_ the expert here so…” Alya trailed off as Marinette shoved her in one of the rooms and closed the door.

“I’m no expert yet but you should still trust me on this!” Marinette called out to Alya as she entered the dressing room adjacent to hers.

It warmed her knowing that Vivien had picked out these clothes especially for them and she had to appreciate how much she knew what would suit both of them.

She was putting on the jumper when she saw it. A minute detail not everyone would have noticed but Marinette wondered how _she_ could have missed it the first time - at the joint where the strap was connected to the rest of the jumper was a button in the shape of a cat’s head.

Her hand wandered to where it rested over her heart.

  _It even has whiskers. He doesn’t have whiskers._

_I wish he was here._

The thought came unbidden. And also unexpected because it hadn’t even been a day since she’d seen Chat Noir last and they’ve gone longer without seeing each other before. Yet she missed him terribly already. But after what she’s done to him, how tactless and insensitive she’d been all this time, she doubts if she even had the right to wish he was with her now.

Shaking off the intrusive thoughts of Chat, she gave herself a once over in the mirror. She looked completely like herself now unlike this morning when she was a perfect personification of the inner turmoil she felt.

Putting on a smile, she stepped out of the dressing room and asked Vivien who was waiting on her right outside, “What do you think?”

“Oh! You look lovely!” Vivien smiled at Marinette, taking both her hands in hers.

“Thank you. Where do you find these clothes? They’re all so beautiful.” Marinette breathed, twirling on her place for Vivien’s benefit. She turned to the room where Alya was and called out to her friend.  “Alya, can you come out now? Come on, don’t be shy.”

“ _Shy_?” Alya snorted as she stepped out of the dressing room, revealing herself in the dress. “Girl, this is _amazing_.”

“Woah, you look stunning.” Marinette gasped. “Like a fire princess.”  Alya’s hair billowed across her shoulders like flames licking her skin, seamlessly complimenting the color of the dress. When Alya spun for them, the dress caught light and sparkled, making her seem aglow.

“Fire princess. I like that.”  Alya beamed, gleaming as she ran her hands over the chiffon. “I don’t have the occasion to wear this, though.”

“Whoever said you need a special occasion to wear a pretty dress?” Vivien flashed them both a conspirational smirk.

“She’s right.” Marinette said, taking Alya by the shoulder. “You have to get it. It looks too perfect on you.”

“Okay, alright. I’ll get it.” Alya laughed. “But don’t act so surprised if you see me wearing this to school. I have to show this off.”

“Yes!” Marinette cheered, turning to Vivien. “We’ll get them.”

 “I’ll them ready for you.”

After changing into their original attire, Marinette and Alya waited for Vivien by the counter, trying the scarves on display. When Vivien came back, she was carrying two shopping bags on her arm that she held out to them. “Here you go. Stay off alcohol for now, kids!”

 “No promises.” Alya smiled slyly as they made the purchase, adding a wink for good measure.

Groaning in exasperation, Marinette dragged Alya by the arm as she left. “Thanks again, Vivien!”

Echoes of Vivien’s laughter could still be heard when the shop’s door closed behind them.

 “So,” Alya nudged her shoulder as they walked, passing by high-end boutiques that were all too expensive for two schoolgirls to be able to afford.  “Wanna get something to drink?”

Marinette froze, jaw dropping to sidewalk pavement as she turned to her friend. “Are you _serious_?”

“Relax,” Alya said, reaching out to close her mouth and point at a café ahead of them. “I meant a _milkshake_ or something. My, my, Marinette, what do you think of me?”

Preferring not to answer the question, Marinette narrowed her eyes at Alya who only smiled at her innocently. “Okay, let’s go.”

The café was reasonably full on a Friday afternoon. Most tables were crowded by a bunch of businesspeople in their suits and a few teenagers like themselves going on after-school dates.

 “I’ll buy. You find a place for us to sit.” Alya said, handing her shopping bag over to Marinette. “You want a strawberry milkshake?”

“And _pain au chocolait,_ too.” Marinette nodded.

Finding a table in an area mostly concealed by bookshelves, Marinette plopped down the cushioned seats and deposited the bags beside her. Although she was hidden from view, Marinette could see Alya through the spaces unoccupied by books on the shelves.

Her friend was grinning as she typed away on her phone, not mindful of the people who would bump into her occasionally. Even though she wasn’t privy to whatever it was that Alya was smiling about, Marinette felt a sense of ease just watching her friend like this after the day they had.

Here was Alya, who was also her best friend. Alya, who had zero interest in fashion but would still raid clothing boutiques and read fashion magazines and listen to her endless ramblings about stitching. Alya, who did all that for her because she loved her. And Marinette loved her too.

_But it’s not the same, is it?_

Because the difference between her friendship with Alya and the one she had with Chat Noir lied somewhere between the countless times they’ve saved each other’s lives and the nights of questioning whether two barely adults could take on the responsibility of saving the world.

And no matter how hard she tried to bury the seed of awareness growing in her mind, there was no stopping it from flourishing. Because it was right there, from the very beginning.

Instead she spends the rest of her time waiting for Alya and pretending that her gaze does not drift to the metal cat button peeking out of her shopping bag.

 

* * *

 

 

Ladybug didn’t know why she was here.

She had transformed that night with hopes to get away from it all – from thoughts of Chat Noir that had been plaguing her all day – only to find out that much of Paris at night reminded her of her partner.

So she ran. And ran. Until her feet, seemingly having a mind of their own, carried her here. On top of a random building just across the Agreste Mansion.

There was a certain quality of detachment that seemed to envelope the house even though the perimeter lights were on, illuminating its facade and surroundings. Most of the rooms were also unused at the moment. This, she knew because only one of the rooms had its lights on – the one she recognized as Adrien’s.

From where she was, she could see him inside his room, lying facedown on his couch, tossing and turning as he had been for the last ten minutes.

_Great, I’m actually watching him through his bedroom window. I am now officially a stalker._

Thinking it better to announce her presence rather than keep watching him like a creep, Ladybug swung down from the building. She tapped on Adrien’s window softly, once, twice, thrice, until he looked up from where his face was buried in one of his cushions.

He looked at her through the glass wistfully and exhaled. “Ladybug...”

“Hi.” Ladybug grinned apprehensively, sending him a small wave.

“ ** _Ladybug!”_ ** Adrien shot up straight, pointing at her as if he had just realized that she was actually there, not some kind of hallucination his mind had conjured up.  He scurried to the window and unlocked the latch to let her in.

“Sorry for dropping in on you unexpectedly.”

Worry began to cross over Adrien’s face as he thought about what her presence here could possibly entaill. “Is there an akuma nearby?”

She recalled the last time she had been in the Agreste house was on duty to protect Gabriel Agreste from the threat of Jackady. Of course, Adrien would instantly think this is another akuma-related visit. She had no actual business here, after all. “No, no danger this time. Everyone in here’s safe.”

Adrien sighed in relief and regarded her hesitantly. “So…Ladybug, what brings you here?”

“I –“ _I don’t know._ Ladybug racked her brain for an acceptable reason she could give him.  “I wanted to thank you.”

“Thank _me_?” Adrien echoed, his tone pensive. He was still watching her as if she was an apparition bound to disappear any moment.

“For your advice last time. You were right.” Ladybug said, taking a step past Adrien to take a look around his room. “About Chat Noir.”

“Oh. It’s no problem.” She heard him say from behind her. “So, everything’s alright with you and Chat Noir then?”

Pretending not to hear the last part of what Adrien said, her eyes wandered around his room. It was probably twice the size of her room, containing all sort of stuff normal teenagers didn’t just have in their bedroom - a mezzanine floor for his library, a basketball half-court, a skateboard ramp and a row of vintage arcade games among other things. “No way! You have Ms. Pacman?”

 “Yeah, wanna give it a try?” Adrien appeared at her side, motioning to the game.

Ladybug grinned at Adrien wickedly before taking hold of the controllers.

_Oh, I’ll show you._

Adrien watched her maneuver the mazes with no difficulty at all, collecting all the bonus fruits, birds, and keys in the process. In a matter of minutes, she had obliterated the high score Adrien had recorded on the machine.

 “ _Wow_.”

Even as Ladybug, she had never imagined that she would ever see Adrien staring at her dumbstruck, reveling in amazement. And it didn’t even have anything to do with her superhero abilities. “Oh yeah, I’m a little good at video games.”

“A _little_ good?” Adrien asked, holding his head in his hands, still lightheaded in bewilderment. It would have made her blush had she been here as Marinette, but she was Ladybug now and somehow that always made interacting with him a whole lot easier. “That was amazing! I might have to ask you to teach me your technique.”

“Okay, I’ll let you in on a secret.” Ladybug leaned closer to his ear, voice dropping to a whisper. “The suit helps.”

“Seriously?” Pulling back in a flash, Adrien eyed her from the mask to the toe of her suit. After fully comprehending that he was basically ogling her, he looked away quickly, his face as red as her costume. “Sorry.”

Ladybug only chuckled at the display, electrified by the prospect of discovering just how many adorable faces Adrien could make. Her eyes drifted higher, to the second floor where library stretched from one end to of the room to the other and ended on a --- “Wait a minute – is that a **_zip line_** in your bedroom?”

Following the line of her gaze, Adrien laughed humorlessly as he scratched the back of his neck, staring at the zip line. “Yeah, I may have been trying to see just how far my father would go to indulge me.”

“Unbelievable.” Ladybug shook her head, walking across the room to where the zip line ended.

“He can be overcompensating like that.” Adrien shrugged dismissively.

“Do you actually use it?” Ladybug asked, running her hand along the length of the rope.

Adrien’s face scrunched in thought. “Once, I think. I tried it right after it was installed.”

“Only once?” Ladybug looked at him like had just told her he wanted the swim across the Seine River on a mid-November night.

Adrien nodded sheepishly at her. “You can use it, if you want. I mean it’s nothing like that yoyo of yours but it’s still pretty fun.”

Her eyes lit up, hands clapping in excitement as she turned to Adrien. “Really?”

“Sure.” Adrien grinned, making a beeline for the spiral staircase that led to his second floor. “Come on up.”

“I think I know a quicker way up.” Ladybug said, stopping Adrien in his tracks and pulling him close to her instead. When she was satisfied that she had a tight grip on him, Ladybug reached for the yoyo on her waist and threw it, launching both of them up in the air.

They landed on his library floor with a soft thump not even two seconds later. As she pulled away from Adrien, he turned to her and said, “Well, that was certainly quicker than my way.”

She smiled at him proudly, glancing to where the zip line’s path began. “So….”

“Right. Give me a second.” Adrien walked up to a cabinet next to them, taking out some equipment that they were going to be needing. “I know you have superpowers and all but still, safety comes first.”

He handed her a set of contraptions, harness, and a helmet, taking one more of each for himself. Having not done this before, she only stared blankly at the equipment and then back up at Adrien. Thankfully, he seemed to realize her dilemma and mouthed a small _oh_ before setting his own set aside and coming up to her. “Here, let me help.”

Putting the helmet on herself, she let Adrien take the straps and instruct her where it went around her arms, shoulders, hips, and legs. Securing the front as he showed him, she asked him for help with the back part where she couldn’t reach. She felt him as he came up behind her even though he wasn’t that close, hyperaware of his fingers accidentally brushing her spine, and rhythmic pattern of his breathing.

Somewhere behind her, Ladybug could have sworn she heard the sound of small voice snickering. When she turned around, there was only Adrien, red faced as he cleared his throat loudly. “Sorry, that was me.”  He laughed nervously, sharply patting his shirt pocket before he announced, “All done. You’re good to go.”

They walked to platform, Adrien spouting last minute reminders – _keep your hold just right, not too tight, not too lose, pull on this when you need to slow down_. He hooked her onto the zip line and double checked, triple checked that everything was in place.

“Okay, I’m ready.” Ladybug told him. 

Adrien just kept fussing over the straps that have long been secured on her.

“Adrien, I swing around rooftops with a yoyo on a nightly basis.” Ladybug said, laying a hand over his arm. “I got this.”

Sighing in defeat, he let released her and took a step back. “Alright, I’ll count down from three and then you can slide down.”

She nodded at him, unable to contain her anticipation. She was about to go on a zip line for the first time in her life.

“Three...two…” He counted, pausing a notably long time and only continuing when Ladybug glared at him. “One.”

And then she was in the air. Unlike swinging around with her yoyo where she can control her drops and how she got back up, this was just falling. Falling at the speed of light where the only way was straight down and fast. It was incredible

However, it was over too soon because she could see the floor of Adrien’s bedroom approaching and she had to pull on the straps to decrease her speed until she stopped. Hovering only a few inches above ground, she set down one foot at a time and unhooked her contraptions the way Adrien taught her.

“Are you okay? Nothing broken?” Adrien called out from the mezzanine, leaning over to scan her as much he could, given the distance.

“Better than okay. That was fantastic!” Ladybug held up a thumbs up sign to him, removing the helmet with her free hand.  “How could you only do that one time?”

“Well, I’m about to do it another time now.” Adrien said, fastening the straps around his upper body and securing himself onto the zip line. Ladybug stepped aside, clearing the path for Adrien as he launched himself off the platform.

For all the worrying Adrien did about her safety, he was surprisingly lax about his own. At first, he seemed to be doing just fine, sliding down with no trouble, until he pulled on the strap to decelerate. One of the buckles must have come loose because instead of slowing down like he should, he began to spin around until he came to a stop.

Ladybug rushed to his side when his feet finally came into contact with the ground. “Oh my god, are you okay?”

“Yep, better than okay.” Adrien said, mirroring her words and flashing her a toothy grin before he wobbles and fell to his knees.

“You really don’t look okay to me.” Ladybug said, sinking on the floor beside him and hunching over his figure to look him over.

“Just…waiting for the world to stop….spinning.” Adrien braced his hands on the floor, blinking until the dizziness wore off. After a few minutes, he took a deep breath and sat up straight, his face still flushed “Well, that was embarrassing.”

Before she could stop herself, Ladybug doubled up in laughter, clutching her sides as sounds of her guffawing filled the room. It must have been her imagination but that little voice she heard earlier was back now, joining in her laughter. When the hysterics finally receded, she saw that Adrien was moping in front of her.

“Sorry.” She gave one last chuckle before patting his shoulder. “I’m sorry for laughing.”

Adrien pouted, giving her kitten eyes that reminded her so much of another blond boy, another pair of green eyes.

 _We’re gonna be just fine,_ she thought.

“What?” Adrien asked thoughtfully, dropping his wounded look. She didn’t realize she had said that out loud.

Biting her lip, she considered playing it off as nothing - that Adrien must have heard wrong because she didn’t say anything. But she decided that she had to tell someone other than Tikki because it was driving her insane.

“Chat and I.” Ladybug said as she thought about this newfound habit she had of talking to Adrien about her partner. “It’s a little rough right now with us. But that’s because of me and I’m working on it. But we’re going to be fine.”

Adrien was looking up at her with an expression she couldn’t quite decipher. “That’s good to know. I’m sure you two will work it out.”

Getting back up on her feet, Ladybug heaved a sigh and dusted all the invisible specks of dirt off of her suit. “It’s pretty late. I guess I should be going. Can you stand now?” Ladybug asked, offering her his hand to help him get up.

“Yep. I’m okay, really.” Adrien said, taking Ladybug’s outstretched hand and walking with her to the open window where she entered.

“Nothing broken?” Ladybug teased.

He laughed at the use of his words. “Nothing broken.”

Climbing onto his window, she balanced herself on the window pane, her back facing the view of the city. “I had a lot of fun. Thank you, Adrien.”

“Me too. You’re free to come use my zip line anytime.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good night, Ladybug.” Adrien raised his hand in farewell, amusement still covering his face.

She was grateful for this time with him. She had spent the greater part of last year tripping over herself in front of him, fawning over this made-up idea of Adrien that she created. If she hadn’t been so infatuated, she might have actually gotten this Adrien, who was less-than-perfect but equally remarkable, if not more.

When she was younger, her mother had told her all sorts of things about first loves (much to her father’s chagrin). Things like, _you will always love the first person you give your heart to_ and then there was _your first love will never last._

She used to find the contradiction odd and confusing. But now, she was slowly coming to understand what her mother had meant.

Because she wonders if she would ever, could ever truly, completely get over Adrien. Maybe not. Maybe that fifteen-year-old girl on the steps of their school on that fateful rainy day will always belong to him. Maybe that part of heart that she has given him that day can never be taken back and that was okay. Because that love wasn’t wasted on Adrien Agreste.

But she was no longer that fifteen-year-old girl.

She was a bit older, a bit wiser, weathered by a year of battling akuma and taking on a responsibility that was larger than her life. There were choices she had to make. And so she does.

Ladybug smiled at him one last time, brimming with melancholy, and all the gratitude she could possibly give him. “Goodbye, Adrien.”

And then she was gone.

 

* * *

 

 

Chat Noir wasn’t at all surprised to find that Ladybug did not show up for patrol that night. What he did not expect, however, was a box of macaroons tied with a pretty pink ribbon and tucked in it was a sketch of a black cat eating his way through a mountain of pastries, and a ladybug watching over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a.k.a. the chapter where i just randomly namedrop parisian landmarks
> 
> ok full disclosure: i know nothing about how zip lines work and how they malfunction so let's just roll with it
> 
> i died writing this so please resurrect me by leaving me comments ily guys


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> do the words I speak before you make you feel // that the love I lay for you will see no ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry this took forever but college has sucked what's left of my soul  
> but anywaaaay
> 
> In which they work things out, sort of.

 

 

When Adrien arrived in class that morning, he was slightly surprised to find that his usual seat beside Nino was already occupied by Alya.

He entered the room soundlessly, not wanting to draw attention to himself while Miss Bustier was still too busy writing something on the whiteboard to take note of his late arrival. Nino watched him sneak in, clearly shocked by his less than stellar performance as a student as of late.

“Hey, man.” Nino greeted him quietly as he came in.

“Hey, I didn’t think you were coming.” Alya whispered, checking to see that Miss Bustier was still busy writing before leaning over the desk. “You can take my seat for today, if that’s okay.”

Adrien nodded, giving Alya a thumbs up before settling himself behind Nino.

Before today, Adrien had never been late for anything - not for photoshoots, not for meetings, not for the superficial high-society events he was forced to attend, and definitely not for school, the one thing he actually _liked_ going to. Professional decorum had been ingrained in his mind ever since he was old enough to walk and talk, and tardiness was not only unprofessional but also inexcusable in his father’s books.

If his Gabriel Agreste ever found out that he was twenty minutes late to his first class because he had stayed up late grinning at his ceiling and thinking of Ladybug, he would kill him.

But it would be _oh so worth it_.

A loud crash resounded across the room, interrupting his thoughts. He watched someone race inside the room and somehow trip over their own foot, sending books flying out of their bag. Turning away to see the cause of the commotion, Miss Bustier was startled to see Marinette, lying face-flat on the floor with her things all around her.

“I’m okay!” Marinette called out, sitting up to collect her books and hurriedly dumping them on her bag. “Sorry, Miss. I was…uh…the road….chicken…this morning. Yeah, that.”

“You’d think her excuses would be at least better than her fashion sense by now, but apparently not.” Chloe chortled from where she sat as Sabrina giggled behind her hand.

“Miss Bourgeois! If you would, please refrain from making unfriendly remarks about your classmates.” Miss Bustier chided, earning an eye roll from Chloe. Their teacher turned her attention back to Marinette who was now shooting daggers in Chloe’s direction. “And Miss Dupain-Cheng, please be more careful when you’re trying to sneak into class next time.”

“Yes, Miss.”

“You may take your seat.” Miss Bustier sighed.

Marinette trudged along the steps, stopping short with eyes wide when she saw that Alya’s seat was taken by one Adrien Agreste. Her gaze immediately snapped to where he usually sat, only to find Alya looking at her with an innocent, curious expression.

“Everything okay with you, Marinette?”

“Yep, fine.” Marinette chirped, smiling tensely at Adrien as she took her place. “Just _fine._ ” She said again, narrowing her eyes at Alya.

Working as a high-profile fashion model meant that Adrien was used to people silently communicating around him. After all, his stylists and makeup artists couldn’t very well talk about their boss in the presence of the boss’s son. He’d watch them hold entire conversations with looks alone, thinking Adrien was oblivious to it all. But he wasn’t. He was young, not stupid.

The harrowing glares Marinette was sending Alya’s way and the daring looks her friend was giving her in return may not have been something he could decipher but he knew it involved him somehow. If Alya ever so slightly nodding her head in his direction was any indication.

 _Huh_.

“I wrote down some guide questions for your reading assignment.” Miss Bustier said in front.  “I’d like you to share your thoughts and insights with each other so I’m giving you the rest of the period to discuss it among yourselves.” Miss Bustier gathered her books and tablet, and Adrien couldn’t blame her if she was in a hurry to leave a room full of unmanageable teenagers.  “You’re free to work here or in the library but be sure to come back in time for your next class.”

He was just about to reach forward and tap Nino’s shoulder when Alya grabbed his friend by the arm, twisting in place to look up at him. “You don’t mind if I borrow Nino for today, do you?”

“Uhh…” Adrien faltered.

“Alya.” Beside him, Marinette’s tone was a cross between warning and panic.

Instead of deterring, Alya’s grin only grew wider. “Hey, that means you can pair up with my Marinette.”

“ _Alya.”_ Adrien swore he could hear the sound of Marinette grinding her teeth.

No matter how many times Nino and Alya convinced him that Marinette had no lingering hatred for him whatsoever, he was pretty certain that she at least had an aversion to him. The last thing he wanted was to impose on her when she clearly didn’t want to be left alone with him.

“We don’t necessarily have to be in _pairs._ I mean, the more the merrier, right?” Adrien suggested.

“Have you never heard of that saying about having too many cooks in the kitchen?” Alya countered. “Besides, it’s fun to switch things up every now and then.”

Looking over to his best friend, he saw a pleading look on Nino’s face and he was reminded that it wasn’t just Alya and Marinette who could converse through non-verbal means. Because right now, Nino was practically screaming how much he wanted to spend some time with Alya. His best friend’s eyes were practically begging him: _Please, say yes. Let me have this one, please._

“That’s okay with me if it is with you, Marinette.” Adrien said, turning to the girl beside him.

“Oh. Of course.” Marinette blinked at him, jerking away from the deathly staring contest she and Alya had been having. “Of course, it’s okay with me.”

“Great! Now that’s all out of the way,” Alya said, pulling Nino up with her. “Should we go to the library?”

“Yeah, sure. Library.” Adrien agreed, giving Nino a thumbs up as his friend mouthed a small _thank you_ at him.

To no one’s surprise, majority of the class ended up taking advantage of the free pass to get out of the classroom. They waited until most of the people had already filed out of the room before following.

Alya and Nino walked way ahead of them, talking in hushed voices with their heads drawn close together. As he watched them disappear into the library, he wondered if he should engage in a conversation with Marinette, who had gone strangely silent as she fell into step beside him.

After everything that’s happened, it was almost expected when Nino and Alya were nowhere to be found when they entered the room. He figured they must have gone off somewhere to be alone and it was up to him to be the good wingman that his friend deserved.

“Guess they just wanted to be by themselves.” Adrien said, suddenly feeling dumb for stating the obvious. _Did Marinette think he was pretty dumb model? Was that why she didn’t like him?_ He cleared his throat, looking around the library. “Should we just find a place?”

“I’m going to kill her.” He heard Marinette mutter under her breath before leading the way to the closest table.

Without giving him so much as a glance, Marinette pulled out a chair for herself and sat, glaring at the table as she took out her tablet and her notepad. Adrien sat across from her, watching her a she worked, settling on a pattern of reading on her tablet and writing her notes down.

 “Um, Marinette?” Clearing his throat to get her attention, Adrien asked, “Would you rather work alone? I mean if you want to I could ...” He trailed off, gesturing to the room’s exit.

“Oh, _no. No._ ” Marinette shook her head ardently, her pigtails bouncing off her shoulders. “You don’t have to leave. I really don’t mind.”

“You sure?” Adrien asked again, making sure she wasn’t just being polite.

“Yes. Yes, of course.” Marinette reassured him, smiling apologetically. “Sorry I’ve been a little snippy, haven’t I?”

“Just a little bit. It’s okay, though.”

“Ugh. No, it’s not.” Marinette grunted, slapping her own forehead. “I’m not bummed about you, I swear. It’s just Alya and her… _scheming_.”

“Scheming?” Adrien echoed, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “What scheming?”

Coughing at the question, Marinette flipped through her notepad with calculated nonchalance. “Yeah. You see, she, uh… Alya may be trying to set us up.” Marinette clapped her hands, smiling a little too brightly. “Okay, now! Should we get started?”

“Oh.” Adrien nodded absently, peering at Marinette who was keen on not making eye contact with him, nodding as she wrote something on her pad. “Why would Alya try to set us up?”

His genuine curiosity on the matter flustered Marinette. She shifted in her seat, burying her nose in her notepad as she pretended to be engrossed in the material. It seemed to Adrien, that he had a talent of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to make Marinette uncomfortable and he wanted nothing more than to kick himself for pressing the topic.

“Never mind. Forget I asked.”

Suddenly straightening up, Marinette put her things aside and looked at him. She heaved a sigh as she began fiddling with her fingers. “No, it’s alright. There’s no harm in telling you now, I guess.”

At this point, all Adrien could do was curse his stupid mouth for talking, and wait for the earth to swallow him whole. Meanwhile, Marinette’s face was scrunched up in thought as she continued to fidget. “Marinette?”

“Yeah? Sorry, I’m – wow, I didn’t think this was how it would happen. But okay, here it goes.” Marinette rambled, and Adrien wanted to tell her to pause and take a breath but he didn’t think she would hear him right now. “So, the thing is, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, you probably have but I’m gonna say it anyway. But the reason why Alya’s been forcing us to spend time together is because I might have _hadatinybitofacrushonyou._ ”

“You might have….” Adrien began, not quite catching everything Marinette said because of how fast she talked. “Sorry, what did you say?”

“I said I had a crush on you.” Marinette repeated.

Adrien just stared at her.

“Oh.”  His entire system was shutting down and rebooting, unable to process this what he just heard. He tried opening his mouth to form at least one coherent, sensible sentence that would be an appropriate reply but it turns out that he had just lost the ability to speak. _What was there to say when one of the best people you knew had just confessed her crush on you?_

Being a public figure meant that he was no stranger to people professing their admiration for him, but those were girls and boys he barely knew. This was _Marinette_ , brave and beautiful _Marinette_ who, in another life, he probably would fall all over if his heart didn’t already belong to another.

“Yeah. It’s no big deal. You don’t have to say anything.” Even though she was no longer stuttering, Marinette was still pink all over, her face betraying how she truly felt despite her words. “I’m just relieved that I’ve finally gotten it out of my system.” She picked up her tablet and turned her attention to it. “Now, where were we?”

Adrien was still frozen. The realization that Marinette Dupain-Cheng liked him was just sinking in and he wondered if maybe he should have known. If maybe the constant stammering around him, the ambiguous insinuations from Alya, and Nino’s certainty that Marinette didn’t hate him – if any of that, should have clued him in.

He was an idiot. A complete utter idiot who was so blinded for his love for Ladybug that he did not see what was right in front ( _or behind_ ) him this whole time. He already felt like a jerk for failing to acknowledge something that should have been obvious to him. He wasn’t about to disregard her feelings again just because Marinette basically granted him the option to take the easy way out.

It took courage from her to be honest and the least he could do was give her a proper answer, no matter how late.

“Marinette…I’m glad you told me.” Adrien said when he could speak again. “I’m very flattered. I mean, you’re super cool and amazing and I can’t believe you liked me. I’m honored, honestly.” He was quite aware that he was babbling but the bold candidness of Marinette’s confession deserved nothing less than the truth from him. “It’s just that I’m already in love with someone else, I have been for quite some time now actually, and I really – I’m sorry, Marinette.”

He didn’t know what he expected after his declaration. Disappointment, maybe? What he certainly was not prepared for was the sight of Marinette flashing him a thousand-watt smile from behind her tablet.

“Adrien, I told you, it’s fine.” She said, her cheeks still tinged with a bit of pink. “You don’t have to apologize. Especially not for loving someone else. But thank you for trusting me enough to tell me the truth. I’m really happy for you.”

“You are?”

“Mhm,” Marinette nodded. “Besides, I don’t like you like that anymore. I mean, I still think you’re great but you know, I don’t think of you in _that way_ anymore.” Marinette laughed nervously, scratching the back of her head. “And it wasn’t like I was in love with you or anything. Ha-ha. It was just a crush. A very tiny one. _Microscopic_ , even.”

“Okaaaay,” Adrien said thoughtfully. “That’s good. I guess?”

“Yes.” Marinette agreed. “Can we please just go back to the assignment?”

Even though they cleared things up between them, the two of them still sat in uncomfortable silence. Marinette, going back and forth between her tablet and her notepad, occasionally asking him questions which he answered robotically.

After several minutes of the tense atmosphere, Marinette’s writing hand stilled. She closed her notepad and put down her tablet just in time for the hourly chiming of the library clock.

“That’s it. We’re finished.” Marinette said, stretching her arms over her head. “Should we find Nino and Alya before we go back?” She stood up, looking around the library for any sight of their friends.

This was probably his last chance to salvage whatever kind of friendship he had with Marinette. It would have been easy to put the matter to rest and carry on being on _barely-speaking-terms_ with her. But that wasn’t what he wanted. And he knew that if he ever intended to get to Marinette, he had to be the one to build that bridge and hope that she would be willing to cross over.

“ ** _Wait_** – Marinette.” The urgency in his tone startled her, making her look at him with alarm. “Would it be alright with you if we could be friends? Even after everything?”

Marinette gave her a confused glance. “Adrien, we _are_ friends.”

Adrien looked at her, biting his lip in consideration.

Sighing in defeat, Marinette fell back down on her chair. “I guess we haven’t really talked much, huh?”

He shook his head. “Not nearly as much as I would like.”

“Well, that’s on me.” Marinette said, drumming her fingers on the table. “In case you haven’t noticed, I tend to get a little _weird_ around you.”

“I noticed.” Adrien said, laughing inwardly. “But all aside, I do think you’re great and I really want us to be friends. So, do you think we can maybe try again?”

“Of course, we can!” Marinette shot up, giving him that classic warm smile of hers. “I would love that. Friends.”

“Me too.” Adrien was unable to keep the grin off of his face as he tested the word out. “ _Friends_.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

No one could tell Marinette that she didn’t learn anything from her previous mistakes.

The minute their morning classes ended, Marinette grabbed Alya by the arm before she could even think about getting away from her again. They bid a quick goodbye to Nino and Adrien as they left, but as soon as they were out of sight Marinette cornered Alya.

“What was _that?_ ” Marinette whirled, the wild look in her eyes directed at Alya.

Tilting her head to the side, Alya had a mask of confusion that Marinette was definitely not buying. “What was what?”

“ _That. Back there._ ” Marinette’s felt her face grow hot, a belated wave of residual embarrassment flooding through her. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she pointed to the general direction of their classroom. “All that stuff with Adrien.”

“Oh, thaaaat.” Alya drawled, nodding slowly. The sound of a phone alert interrupted them, prompting Alya to rummage through her bag without success.  “What about it?” Alya asked idly, patting her front jean pockets and fishing out her phone.

“You’re not good at playing coy, you know.” The sideways glare she gave Alya went unnoticed as her friend intently checked her messages.

“Wait --,” Holding but a finger between them, Alya proceeded to type on her phone with just one hand. “Give a second, Madame Cheng just texted me.”

“ _What?_ Why is _my_ _Maman_ texting _you_?” Marinette was incredulous. “Maman doesn’t even text _me_.” _Probably because she was always losing her phone or willfully ignoring it because she’s bad with technology. But still._

Alya grinned wickedly, making a point of covering the screen to block it from Marinette’s view. Her curiosity getting the best of her, she reached out to grab Alya’s phone, only to have her extend it out of her reach at the last second.

“Oh no, you don’t.” Alya waved a finger in front of her face, chuckling at Marinette’s frowning face.  “We have got to get your phone-stealing impulses under control one of these days.”

“That was one time!” _That you know of,_ she didn’t say. _You didn’t know about the other two._

“Still one too many.” Alya checked the phone over her head one last time before putting it back in her bag. “And if you really must know, Madame Cheng texts _me_ because _you_ never pick up _your_ phone and she’s worried that her only daughter has made a habit of disappearing off to God knows where at odd times of the day.”

“I don’t disappear during odd times of the day.”

“Not that she knows, anyway.” Alya winked at her. “Don’t worry, girl. I got your butt covered.”

 _“What are you telling Maman?”_ Marinette was filled with dread, awaiting further explanation.

“Nothing that isn’t true.” Alya shrugged, tugging on Marinette’s wrist to get her moving.  “Come on, your parents are waiting for us.” With Alya leading the way, they began walking out of the school and towards the bakery.

“Hey, wait -- what’s that supposed to mean?” Marinette asked, clutching Alya’s arm to prevent her friend from evading her inquiry.

After considering her for a long moment, Alya sighed, gently prying Marinette’s hand off of her arm. It didn’t escape Marinette’s notice that Alya was deliberately refusing to look at her when she spoke.

“Okay, so there’s a chance that your mother thinks you spend your time away from me following your pretty blond Ken Doll around.”

“He’s not a Ken Doll and _oh my God_. Please tell me you didn’t tell my mother that I’m stalking a boy when I should be in class.” Marinette felt her blood drain. “That is not true _at all._ ”

As they got closer to the bakery, shame and trepidation began to fill her at the idea that her parents thought she off doing _unbecoming activities_ instead of being the good, diligent daughter she was supposed to be.

 “Marinette, when Adrien has to leave in the middle of class for work, you suddenly disappear five seconds later. It’s really not hard to figure out. I mean, where else could you possibly be running off to?”

_Oh, but there was an explanation. One that involved kwamis, magical transformations, and fighting off an evil butterfly. But she sure as hell wasn’t allowed to tell Alya the truth behind her disappearances._

Taking her silence as an admission of guilt, Alya only patted her shoulder in reassurance. “Don’t be mad. It’s not like your Maman minds. She thinks it’s cute, actually. You know she told me she used to follow your father around when they were in _lycée_.”

“That’s really not the point.” Marinette groaned. As she pushed the doors of the bakery open, the bells chimed, announcing their presence to her parents inside.

Tom beamed upon seeing them, briefly pausing from arranging the display to wave at them with a pair of tongs still in hand. “Hello, girls!”

“I was in class the whole morning!” Marinette squeaked automatically. _There goes her plan to play it cool_.

Behind the counter, Sabine’s eyes were wide with amusement. “We know. Why, is there somewhere else you ought to be?” Her mother asked, not so discreetly winking at Alya afterwards.

Grunting in response, Marinette walked up to her parents to kiss them both on the cheek, like she always did, and grabbed Alya by the arm and dragged her upstairs before she could further theorize Marinette’s whereabouts with her parents.

“Told you, you didn’t have to worry about it.” Alya was laughing as she followed Marinette to her bedroom.

“And I told you, that’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Okay, then. Pray tell. What are you—“ Alya stopped short upon clearing the trapdoor that lead to her room and seeing it for the first time since she “redecorated.” The walls were noticeably bare, devoid of the many faces of Adrien that used to grace every corner of the space. The only evidence that they were ever there were the traces of dust that collected around the where the frames used to be. “You -- you took down the posters. And the pictures. And everything else.”

“I did.”                                                                                                  

After Ladybug’s visit to Adrien the previous night, she had come home feeling like her heart had been shattered and put together at the same time. But among other things, she was filled with a calming clarity as she finally understood what she had to do.

Tikki had watched her with sad eyes as she removed every picture and every poster taped to her walls that night. Each one she took down was a weight off her chest, a chain unshackled, and by the end of it, she had finally divested herself of her self-inflicted restraints.

The sadness came after, inevitably. Still she knew she did the right thing – for Adrien, and for herself.

“Why?” Alya breathed, walking around the room in disbelief and staring at places where the posters used to be.

Marinette plopped on her chaise, shrugging like it was nothing, like it wasn’t a decision that altered her perception of everything. “I decided to move on.”

“Decided to _move on?_ ” Alya whirled, getting that look on her face like she had just been told a joke that she didn’t quite get. “Marinette, is there something you’re not telling me? Is there _someone_ you’re not telling me about?”

“No, that’s not it.” Marinette shook her head.

“Because just a week ago you _dragged me_ with you to Adrien’s fencing meet when neither of us knew jackshit about the sport. And now, all of a sudden, you’re just _over it_?”

“Not entirely. Not yet. But I’m getting there.”

“So, what, all our efforts just go to waste now? Forget about all the dates we had planned for you guys? Is that it?” Alya asked, still looking at her like she had just lost her mind.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“What’s gonna happen to your future kids? What about Emma, Hugo and Louis? What about the hamster and the–“

“I don’t know, Alya, okay!” Marinette shouted, breaking at last, because the last thing she needed was to be reminded of the things she did, the unnecessary lengths she went through when she was fixated on Adrien.

Somewhere in the rational recesses of her mind, she knew it was terribly unfair to take it out on Alya. But the irrational, selfish part of her, the one that hadn’t had the chance to break down and be a total emotional wreck, wanted someone to know how hard the past couple of days had been for her.

“Maybe I’ve just had enough of it. Maybe I don’t want the hamster anymore.” Marinette was shaking as the words spilled out of her uncontrollably. “Maybe I don’t want to be that girl who is borderline obsessed with Adrien to the point that it’s actually creepy. Maybe I just got tired of acting like an insane stalker. Take your pick! Is that enough for you?”

Alya looked at her as if she had just hit her, and she may as well have. Suddenly, she wished she could take it all back - apologize to Alya before she could create a rift in another one of her friendships.

But Alya had already crossed the distance between them, dropping on the chaise beside her and taking her trembling hands in hers. “Marinette…”

Marinette let herself collapse in the safety of her friend, taking deep breaths against Alya’s shoulder. “I need to do this.” Her voice was muffled by Alya’s shirt. “This whole moving on thing…it has less to do with Adrien and more to do with me. And I think it’s a good idea for me to stop obsessing over a silly crush and focus on something else.”

Their hands were clasped together so tightly in her lap that she was afraid they might break. But it felt good to be held by Alya, to be held by the best friend she didn’t have conflicting feelings about. “Mari, I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” Marinette looked up at Alya.

Alya’s hand squeezed hers. “For being so pushy. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to be sure that this is what you really wanted.”

“It is. And it’s okay.” Marinette wanted to hug her and cry until they both couldn’t breathe, just to show her how glad she was to have a friend who went along with her outrageous antics, saw her at her worst, and loved her all the same. But all her tears had dried up over the last few days, so she settled for squeezing her hand back. “I told him, you know. Adrien. That I liked him.”

Inhaling sharply, Alya’s face careful and considerate when she asked, “What did he say?”

“He said he was in love with someone else.” Marinette said, remembering the look on Adrien’s face and how he seemed to glow just by saying it. “I told him that it’s great and I’m happy for him. And then we said we’d be better friends from now on.”

“You’re really okay with that?” Alya asked, her voice overflowing with concern. “You don’t have to be if it’s too hard.”

Since her talk with Adrien that morning, she had asked herself that very same question a dozen times and some more. She had waited for the petty jealousy to come when Adrien admitted to his adoration for another person. But she found that all she had was happiness that she had finally confessed to Adrien, even if he didn’t return her feelings. Happiness for him, who was happily in love. And happiness for the two of them because they could finally try their hand at friendship for the third time.

“I mean it. I want us to be friends.”

Alya gave her a long hard look before nodding.  “Normally, I’d offer to raise hell on anyone who’s ever hurt you in any way, but God knows the world has already shit on Adrien enough. So if you say you’re fine with it then I’m willing to let it go.”

“I have no doubt that you would. Raise hell, that is.” Bumping Alya’s side with hers, Marinette smiled for the first time in their conversation. “But I really feel great about this. Honest.”

Leaning away from her, Alya reached out and took her face between both her hands. Behind her eyeglasses, Alya’s eyes shone with so much passion and sincerity.  “Marinette Dupain-Cheng, you are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever known.”

Still smiling, Marinette asked, “Even more amazing than Ladybug?”

Alya gasped in shock. “Girl, I can’t believe you would make me choose. But yes, okay, because Ladybug wouldn’t stay up all night with me forming superhero origin theories.”

“How do you know that? She might, if you asked her.”

“Remind me to ask her next time, then.” Alya said with genuine interest in the idea as she stood up, tugging Marinette by the arm. “Come on down, let’s eat lunch. I can smell your mother’s _quiches_ from all the way over here.”

“You go on without me. Gotta to fix myself first. I probably look like a mess.” Marinette said, walking to her mirror. 

“Alright.” Alya made her way to the trapdoor, giving Marinette a tender, knowing look before she could take a single step down. “Hey, Mari?”

“Yes?”

“You sure there’s nothing else you want to tell me?”

When Marinette’s eyes met hers, she sees the questions that her friend wants to ask but are holding back for her sake. Even more, she sees that Alya already knows the answer to some of them. Even the ones she herself hasn’t figured out yet.

“There’s nothing else.” Marinette said, slowly shaking her head.

“Okay,” Alya said, a melancholic smile growing on her face. “I’ll be downstairs.”

She sat there, listening to the thumping sound of Alya’s shoes until it faded. As soon as she was out of earshot, Tikki flew out from her purse and hovered in front of Marinette’s face.

“I’m so proud of you, Marinette.” Her kwami said, kissing her between the eyes. “I’m sorry you couldn’t tell her about Chat without giving away your identity.”

“There’s nothing to tell.” Marinette said, even though both of them knowing full well that she was lying.

“Marinette…”

“Okay. Fine.” Marinette huffed, staring at her kwami. “What do you think should I do about Chat?”

“What I think is not important.” Tikki said, flying to Marinette’s chest to nudge her heart with her paws. “What matters is _how you feel_.”

“How _I_ feel about _Chat?_ Chat’s my partner, he’s my friend.” The words felt like lead on her tongue. _Chat is still my friend even if he is in love with me._ “We’re friends.”

It wasn’t a lie, but no matter how many times she repeated it to herself, it no longer sounded true.

 

* * *

 

_Marinette smiles at Adrien as she walks in when they go back to school that afternoon. All the while, Alya holds her hand tightly as she takes her seat back from Adrien claiming that she “can only be apart from Marinette for so long.” She waves goodbye at him when classes end and he tells her “see you tomorrow.”_

_On the way home, she finds Rose and Juleka huddled in a far off corner and she pretends she doesn’t stand frozen in the middle of the stairwell watching them. Watching the way they laugh together easily, watching the how their arms brush against each other clumsily, and how they look at each other like nothing else existed but them. She pretends she doesn’t hear the erratic beating of her own heart when Rose brushes the hair out of Juleka’s eyes and leans in to touch her lips with hers. She pretends she doesn’t understand what it’s like to fall in love with the one person who knows you the way no one else does._

_But she does._

 

* * *

 

_He gives her time._

_He gives her time because that’s all she’s ever asked of him. And she’s given him everything – hope, freedom, love, a **friend**. Even if that’s all they will ever be, she’s already given him more than anyone ever has in his life._

_Still, Adrien keeps his open window that night. He stares at it hard, as if he could will her to show up the way she did the previous night. But she doesn’t. So, he listens to the total silence of his house, the absence of Ladybug’s musical laughter whenever he would tell her one of his jokes. He thinks of the good things – Plagg keeping him company (despite him leaving crumbs of cheese on his bed), Nino’s and his pure devotion to Alya, and his renewed friendship with Marinette._

_And he waits._

 

* * *

 

“ _Stupid, dumb cat_.” Marinette growled under her breath as she pounded on the dough for the seventeenth time.

Beating a fairly innocent dough just because she was frustrated was futile, she knew. But it was all she could do not to disintegrate on the spot at the realization she made after Alya had left yesterday.

_She likes Chat. She actually has a stupid crush on her partner. In all probability, more than that._

She felt blindsided. Feelings like that don’t just develop overnight. It must have been festering, growing bolder and bidding its time while she chose to ignore it. And at her weakest moment, it chose to strike, knocking all the wind out of her.

“You’re not gonna bake a punching bag out of that, are you?” A big, deep voice grumbled behind her, making her jump and causing bits of dough to fly out of her hand stick to the wall.

“ _Papa_!” Marinette turned to find her father chuckling “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I can see that.” Tom nodded, pointing to the hard lump on the table. “Too busy punching the dough? Poor dough. What did it ever do to you?”

“That dough had it coming.” Marinette said, dusting flour off of her hands. “So stubborn.”

“Dough is supposed to be stubborn.” Tom said, trying his hand at kneading the mound and doing it without difficulty. “You need to have patience, make it listen to you.”

Marinette watched his father work, almost smiling at his ease with the task. “I guess that’s just one more thing that’s not for me then.

Tom paused, setting the mound on one side of the island. He motioned for Marinette to stay where she was before bringing the bar stools on the other side of the kitchen to her. Sitting on one of them, her father asked, “Want to tell me about it?”

“About what?”

“Hmm, I like to think I know my own daughter.” Tom said, offering the other stool to Marinette. “And when I see her punching dough down here instead of working on her clothes in her room, I’m inclined to believe something’s bothering her.”

Sighing in defeat, Marinette took her place on a stool next to her father and poked the dough on the counter with disinterest. “First of all, punching the dough is pretty much the same as kneading.”

Beside her, Tom gasped theatrically, laying a hand over his wounded heart. “I cannot believe my own daughter would say that.” He patted the dough in front of them. “Don’t listen to her. This is why she is a designer and not a baker.”

“So dramatic.” Marinette laughed, rolling her eyes at her father.

“Okay, so, tell me what’s upsetting you.” Her propped his elbows on his knees and looked at her directly. “Matters of the heart? Does it have something to do with that Agreste boy you like?”

“I…no.” There was no point in even asking how her father knew about Adrien in the first place when she hadn’t exactly been subtle about her crush on him. “Not him, Papa.”

Tom hummed, tapping his chin. “But I’m right about the first one, hmm?”

“S-Something like that I guess.” Marinette sputtered, unsure of what to expect. Save for the sneaky looks he gave her when she talked about Adrien, her father usually kept mum during discussions about Marinette’s love life while her mother went on endlessly about it.

Tom seemed to sense her apprehension. “Marinette, I know you usually talk to your mother about these things, but you can tell me anything.”

“I know. I know I _can_.” Marinette started, playing with her hands on her lap. “It’s just kind of new. I mean, not really _new_ because I’m pretty sure it must have been happening for quite some time now but I just realized how I…how I felt yesterday. So, it’s new _to me_?”

Tom nodded emphatically, and Marinette had to remind herself to thank all her lucky stars that her father was the understanding man that he was. “What about it bothers you?”

“I don’t know. After that whole thing with Adrien, and how well I handled that,” she laughed bitterly, “I just don’t think I need to be f-falling in _love_ with anyone right now.”

She felt ridiculous, sitting here and moping to her father about her boy problems when she had much bigger things to think about. She half-expected him to laugh at her. After all, what did a sixteen year old girl know about love?

Her father leaned into her, his voice dropping to almost a whisper as if he was just about to divulge the secrets of the universe. “Marinette, no one ever actually _needs_ to fall in love.”

Marinette looked at him like he had just spoken in another language, unable to tell if he was giving her advice of dismissing her entirely.

Tom continued, “Your mother and I, we don’t love each other because we _need to_. We love each other because we _choose to_. Every day, we choose to.” His finger tapped his chest right over his heart. “Love is a choice, Marinette. That’s what makes it so wonderful. It’s a gift you give to someone and hope they accept.”

A surge of unexpected jealousy went through her. Because, of course, her parents were lucky in that department. She knew it, saw it every day - in the way her father goes quiet when her mother touches his hand, and in the way her mother lights up when she hears his voice.

They made love look so beautiful, so kind. All Marinette knew was that she would give up her right hand, if she could be half as happy as they were.

“What if they don’t? Or what if they do accept it and it turns out to be not what they wanted and they end up throwing it back at you?”

A sad smile crosses Tom’s face just so briefly but enough that Marinette ponders if maybe finding his true love hadn’t been as easy for his father as she initially believed.

“That’s why people are careful whom they give their hearts to. This person you love, do you trust them with your heart?”

_Does she trust Chat Noir, her partner, who had put his life on the line for her on several occasions, with her heart?_

“With _everything_. More than _anyone_.”

The conviction in her voice echoes across the kitchen, shocking them both. Her father stares at her with wide eyes before collecting himself, beaming at her with what could only be described as a combination of nostalgia and pride.

“That’s good.” Tom said, reaching out to embrace her. “You are a wonderful girl and you deserve to be with someone who will cherish you,” he said against her hair as he kissed the top of her head.

In her father’s presence, she feels as small as she was when she was a little girl.  Back when she’d run to him when she scraped her knee playing outside, when she had nightmares about monsters lurking under her bed and she’d count on his strength to be her fortress.

But she was having doubts that no amount of hot chocolate or band aids can fix. And while Ladybug couldn’t confide in her father about her fears of suffering defeat in the hands of an evil mastermind, that didn’t mean that Marinette couldn’t tell him about her greatest fear of losing her partner.

“Papa, I’m so scared that it won’t work out,” she lamented. “I’m scared I’ll ruin a perfectly good friendship for nothing.”

“Oh, Marinette.” Her father said, gently patting her on the back. “Taking the first step is always a risk. But it won’t be for nothing if it’s worth it. You want to be with this person?”

For all the times she wondered whether she loved Chat or not, she has never asked herself that question. Because from the moment they met, it was an established fact that they were going to be constants in each other’s lives, no matter how.

Then again, it was more than the fact that they were partners and they would be for a long, long time. It was that she wanted to fight this indefinite battle _with him_ , spend her days racing across Parisian rooftops _with him_. It was the fact that, given the choice to do it all over again with anyone in the world, she would still choose Chat Noir.

“I-I do.”

“Then that’s your answer.” Tom smiles at her. “And look, on the off-chance that it doesn’t work out, you can watch movies and eat ice cream with Maman and I.”

Marinette laughs, thinking about all the times her parents sat with her watching ‘teenager movies’ and how they’d get more invested in it than her. “Can we do that anyway even if he doesn’t end up breaking my heart?”

“Of course we can – “ Her father stops midsentence with a perplexed expression on his face. “Wait, did you say _he?”_

“Uh, yeah.” Marinette nods slowly, not sure where this was going. Was her father expressing disapproval after all the encouragement he gave her? “That guy I like.”

“ _Guy?_ As in **_male_**?” He asked, articulating the words carefully. “You mean we weren’t talking about Alya?”

“ _Alya_? You thought I was in love with Alya?” Marinette broke away from her father, half torn between cackling and sobbing at the absurdity of the situation.

“You two are pretty close...”

“She’s my _best friend_ , Papa.”

Tom rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, you mentioned something about being friends with the person you like so…huh. Guess, I was wrong. I can’t believe I owe your mother for this.”

“You and Maman were betting on this?!” Marinette screeched.

“So dramatic. Wonder where you get that from.” Tom laughed, taking off his apron and laying in on the counter.  “Better get back out there. Your mother might need me. You okay now?”

She smiled at him. “Much better. Thanks Papa.”

When she was alone again, Marinette stood up went to other side of the kitchen where they kept emergency snacks. Then, she found the jar of chocolate chip cookies sitting on one of the shelves and took one to slide inside her purse.

“Eat up, Tikki. We’re going to see Chat Noir tonight.”

 

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir didn’t hear her land behind him.

Keeping her eyes on her partner’s back, Ladybug was light on her feet as she crossed the beam of the Eiffel Tower to get to him. All the while, Chat was hunched over the edge, still unaware of her presence as he rested his chin on one knee, looking out into the city.

She would call him out for his lack of vigilance later, but there were other matters to attend to for now.

“Hi, there.” Ladybug said, smiling to herself.

 

Thankfully, Chat’s reaction time turned out to be much better than his cognizance because he was up on his feet in less than a second at the sound of her voice. He was shocked to see her - that much was evident by the look on his face. It reminded her so much of how Adrien looked when she came into his bedroom – like she was an apparition he didn’t quite believe.

 “Hey.” He was hesitant to take another step towards her. “I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Impulse decision.” Ladybug said, inching forward to close what felt like miles between them until she was beside him, close enough to hear him breathe and feel the warmth radiating off of his body.

“From you?” Chat was astounded. “That’s new.”

“You know me, I’m all about living on the edge.” Rocking on her heels, she set her sight ahead, looking out at the reflection of the city lights on the rivers and listening to the faint murmurs of the evening. “So, how’s Paris tonight?”

Chat Noir shrugged. “Well, there’s rich men doing their businesses, tourists getting lost, teenagers making out under trees.”

“Ah, so the usual.” Ladybug exhaled, narrowing her eyes at the sight of two barely distinguishable teens clawing at each other below them. “Do they really think the trees cover them?”

“I imagine it’s hard to care when you have someone’s tongue shoved down your throat.”

“Fair point.”

A gust of wind blew past them, blowing the hair out of her face. From the corner of her eye, she could see Chat Noir watching her carefully, waiting to see what she was about to do next, his caution reminding her how strained things had become between them. It had only been days since they had last seen each other but she missed him.

_God, she even missed his puns._

“So, how are you?” He finally decided to ask.

“Good,” she said, a secret smile forming on her face. “Better than good, actually.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” He was so full of honesty and sincerity that it made Ladybug want to skip the speech she rehearsed on the way and just throw herself at him. But no, she had to do this right.

“Listen, about last time –“she began, knowing that if she were ever to do this, it had to be **_now._**

“You don’t’ have to do this.” Chat interjected.

“Do _what_?”

“Tell me anything.” His head hung low as he spoke. “I know you’re set on keeping our personal and professional lives separate. I respect that. I also know you’re not comfortable sharing details of your civilian life with me, so you don’t have to tell me anything just because you feel like you have to.” He looked at her. “You know you have me, right? Anytime you need someone, I’m here. But I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.”

“Chat.” Ladybug voice was as stern as the way she was looking back at her partner. “I’m not telling you this because I feel like I have to. I’m telling you because I wa _nt to_. Because I want _you_ to know.”

“You do?”

“Yes.” She had wondered if maybe going to see Chat right after figuring things out was too soon. If maybe, she should sleep on this discovery and give it a moment before she told him. In the end, she decided there was no waiting, because the thought would drive her mad until she finally talked to him about it.

“O-Oh. Okay, then. Like I said,” Chat said, wiggling his cat ears while his hands pointed to his actual, human ones. “All ears.”

Ladybug groaned. “I can’t believe I actually thought I missed your lame jokes.”

“My jokes are not lame.” Chat looked offended. But Ladybug noted that the usual spark in him was beginning to settle in comfortably.  “I, for one, think they’re very _punny._ ”

“Really? That was bad. Even for you.” She snorted, shaking her head and turning her gaze back ahead. She vaguely remembers how this view looked like from what seemed like forever ago, when they defeated Stoneheart, their first akuma battle.  “Do you remember our first day as superheroes?”

Chat hummed, obnoxiously wagging his eyebrows at her. “Ah yes, I remember how you fell for me.”

“I fell _on you_.” She corrected. “I was all over the place that day. Even though my kwami, Tikki, had gone over everything I needed to know, being in the suit still felt ridiculously awkward and unreal. I can’t even tell how many times I slipped and fell when I first used my yoyo. The whole time I just felt so…”

“Madly clumsy.” He smiled at the memory. “That’s how you introduced yourself to me. For the record, you still kicked serious butt that day. And you’re hardly clumsy now.”

“But I still am. My civilian self is a walking disaster. You’d never think she’d be moonlighting as a superhero in a million years.” She reveals. “Being Ladybug has made me more confident in myself, and a great deal of that is because of you.”

_“Me?”_

“I never wanted to be a superhero. Protecting an entire city from a supervillain is a _huge_ responsibility. That takes courage, determination. And I didn’t think I had that.”

She recalls that day: finding _the box_ , meeting Tikki, and wondering how in the world anyone thought that she was up for the job of being Ladybug.

 “But you do.” Chat proclaimed. “If anyone can do it, it’s you.”

“It’s easy to say that now, but when I first found those earrings, I wasn’t as sure of myself. I was just a girl who could barely keep up with school. I couldn’t even stand up to a class bully. How was I supposed to fight Hawkmoth?” Ladybug laughed bitterly. “When I failed to purify the akuma the first time, I thought that was proof that I couldn’t do this. That I was right all along, I wasn’t meant for this. So I tried to give up my earrings…”

Beside her, Chat was quietly watching her, patiently listening to her story. She continued.

“But then the city was overrun with Stonehearts and I saw you, fighting them on your own. And a friend of mine was also caught in the heat of battle. Even though I was still hesitant, I knew I had to be Ladybug again.”

“So I tried, tried really hard - saved the Mayor’s daughter and all that. But even then, the authorities still didn’t take us seriously and I could hardly blame them. That was only our second appearance. For all they knew, we were just two crazy kids in costume messing around. But for me, it was like every doubt I ever had about becoming Ladybug was being validated and amplified. Because they were right. I wasn’t anybody, I was just someone who happened to stumble upon a pair of earrings.”

“But you didn’t think that. You knew they needed us and you showed me, when I saved Chloe’s life, that the only thing standing between the destruction of Paris and Hawkmoth was us. And you truly believed that we could do it. That we could win.”

Chat smiled at her. “I still think that, you know.”

“I know.” Ladybug gave him a grateful smile. “Part of me thought you were insane for thinking that a pair of newbies likes us could take on this insane responsibility. But I guess I was just as insane as you were because you made me believe it too. You made believe that I could be Ladybug.”

“You were always so sure of everything from the get go.” Ladybug went on. “When I was uncertain of whether I wanted this, you dived in headfirst, no questions asked - like being a superhero was something you’ve been waiting for and preparing for your whole life.”

Chat laughed at that. “Yeah, well, it’s good to know I didn’t wear out my Sailor Moon DVDs practicing my magical girl transformation sequence for nothing.”

“Thank you, Chat.” Ladybug professed, looking directly into her partner’s eyes. “Thank you for being you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’d be you.” Chat noted. “Maybe I convinced you to be Ladybug but after that, being this amazing superheroine,” he gestured at her, “That’s all you.”

“Okay, no.” Ladybug grumbled, suddenly fighting the urge to flick his bell or pull on his tail in annoyance at how he undervalues himself. “ ** _No_**. Just - stop that.”

“Stop what?” Chat asked, completely taken aback by the sudden shift in her mood.

“Stop always acting like you’re not important.” Ladybug jeered, taking Chat’s face in her hands so she can tell him directly. “We’re two halves of a whole remember? You are _literally_ my other half. You’re my partner and you’re also one of the best friends I’ve ever had. There is no other person in this world - living or dead - that I trust more than you.” There was no going back now.  Despite how her heart thundered in her chest with every word, she kept going. “It honestly terrifies me sometimes how much you mean to me but you are the most important person in my life and I need you to know that.”

Chat leaned into her touch, placing his hand over hers. “You’re the most im _purr_ tant person to me, too.”

Making a face of disgust at his pun, Ladybug pinched her partner’s cheek in frustration. “Oh my god, Chat Noir, will you learn to read the atmosphere?  You do not pun when someone is clearly in the middle of confessing their love for you.”

“Ow!” Chat yelped, frowning as he nursed his red cheek. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open, as if he just realized what Ladybug had said. “Whaa – Did you – “ Chat’s eyes had never been as bright as they were now as he stared at her in awe. “In my defense, you’ve never actually said – “

“I love you.” Ladybug finally said, like those three words would ever be enough to convey how much she felt for him. “I love you.”

“You love me.” Chat gulped, his voice shaking when he asked, “When you say you love me, do you mean…”

“I mean that I love you like you’re my best friend. I love you like no one else in this world knows me the way you do. I love you like I trust you with my heart and everything more than anyone. I love you like that. And _more_.”

“More…”

“So much more.”

Chat let out deep breaths, like he was just learning how to breathe again before he moved towards her –only to miss a step and fall off, from _three hundred meters_ above ground.

“ ** _Chat!_** _”_

Without much forethought, Ladybug jumped after him, mentally cursing his partner’s bad luck or whatever it was that caused things like this to happen to them at the worst possible times. When she got to him, Chat gathered her up in his arms, holding her so tightly as they plummeted to the ground.

“Chat, I need to reach my yoyo!” She shouted over the sound of the wind, struggling to free one arm from his hold. “We’re going to crash!”

“Don’t worry, I got you.” Chat yelled back, keeping one arm around her as he reached for something behind his back. Suddenly, she felt their fall break, and when she looked over Chat’s shoulder, she saw that he had extended his baton to the ground to control their drop.  “I got you,” he said against her ear one more time.

They didn’t die. They landed on top of one of the trimmed bushes in a relatively empty part of Champ de Mars, with her on top of Chat Noir.

“Are you hurt?” Ladybug asked, sitting up and checking him over to see if there was anything broken.

Chat only shook his head in response, keeping an arm around her waist.

“Okay, what the hell were you thinking?!” Ladybug bellowed, feeling the anger coming now that the initial worry she felt had worn off. “We could have died, you know! And if we had it would have been because we fell off the Eiffel Tower. Not in battle, valiantly fighting for the safety of Paris. No, because we just happened to fucking fall off a regular tourist attraction.”

“Sorry about that,” Finally opening his eyes, Chat grinned at him wickedly as he sat up to embrace her once more. “But you finally **_fell_** for me.”

Ladybug groaned, unsuccessfully trying to remove herself from where she just realized she was straddling him. “You’re impossible.”

“Mhm, but you love me.” His gloved hands burned as they rested on the small of her back while he nuzzled the junction of her neck, like the cat that he was. “ _You love me.”_

“Alright, let me go. I’m going home.”

Chat drew back, and she briefly wondered if he really was going to let her go. But he only moved to touch her forehead with his and look into her eyes. “I love you.” His hand went to cup her cheek, his thumb tracing invisible patterns on her skin, and it felt wonderful to be with him like this. “My Lady, I love you so much.”

She felt her heart burst with love for him upon his confession. It wasn’t that she didn’t expect him to return her feelings; it was that she had no idea how much she’s been wanting to hear him say that, until now. His words were liquid fire in her body, warming her from head to toe despite the coldness of the night.

“I know.” She said quietly, just enough for him to hear. “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out but now, I know.”

“You mean you didn’t know before?” Chat was _astonished_.  

“I guess I was in denial of the truth because I was scared.” She admitted.

“What about now? You’re not scared now?”

“No. Especially not if I’m in this with you.”

“You’re in this with me.” Chat whispered, so _impossibly close_ to her that she was certain they were sharing the same breath. “You’re in this with me for a long, long time because I don’t plan on leaving you ever.”

“Good, because I don’t plan to, either.” She told him, before leaning forward and pressing her lips against his.

The kiss was chaste, just enough for her to hear the little gasp he made and feel the softness of his lips on her own. It was innocent and sweet, barely lasting a few seconds before she pulled away to look at him and see the dazed expression on his face.

Ladybug bit her lip, taking a moment to appreciate how beautiful Chat looked, flushed and breathless, with the moonlight illuminating his face. _Has he always been this attractive?_

It took him a few moments to regain his senses.  When he finally did, he smiled at her like she had just given him the world, her chest constricting at the sight of him, before his hand moved to her neck to draw her back to him until their lips met for a second time.

Their lack of experience showed, in the bumping of their noses and clashing of teeth, in how they laughed in between kisses for no other reason except that they could. But neither of them minded one bit. Because they were taking their time, exploring and learning their way around this unfamiliar territory together.

She never really understood why people liked kissing so much. Until now that his mouth was hot on hers, wanting her, _needing her_ and her hands were tangled in his hair, tugging him closer and closer because he felt _so damn good_ and she couldn’t get enough.

It all felt like drowning in fire – his torturously slow kisses and his fingers tracing her spine. And she would happily let it engulf her if it meant they could just keep doing this, she thought to herself as Chat pulled her down with him.

When his back made contact with the ground, she felt him wince against their kiss.

Pulling away from him instantly, Ladybug looked at him and frowned. “I thought you said you weren’t hurt.”

“I wasn’t.” Chat waved her off, wanting to nothing but to resume their previous activities. “It’s nothing.”

Ladybug narrowed her eyes at him and poked his back.

“Ow! Alright. Okay, it’ll probably bruise in the morning but other than that, nothing a few kisses can’t fix.” Chat said, already starting a trail of kisses from neck to her jaw.

Her eyes fluttered shut, and she swallowed heavily, chiding herself for giving in so easily. “Hard to say no if it’s for your recovery.”

 “Hey bugaboo, you know what I realized?” Chat whispered. “Now, we’re just like those teenagers making out under the trees.”

Ladybug groaned in frustration, letting her head drop to his shoulder and mumbling, “You really know how to kill the mood, don’t you?”

“Aw, come on.” Chat whined, dramatically clutching his chest. “Ladybug, I am in pain. And I need your kisses to make it better.”

 “It’s your _back_ that’s hurt.” She deadpanned.

“ _My heart_ is in pain when My Lady is refusing to shower me with her love.”

She shook her head at him in exasperation, pinching both his cheeks affectionately. “Such a needy cat.”

But she kisses him anyway. And again and again.

 

* * *

 

Nino watched Adrien, sending him a weird look, like he had just grown a second head.

“ _Dude,_ you are aware that you’ve been _humming_ for almost the entire morning, right?”

Pausing in the middle of packing his things up for lunch, Adrien tilted his head to the side in consideration. “Really? Huh, guess I have.” He shrugged.

“Yeah, it’s weird.” Nino remarked. “What’s got you in a good mood?”

Not being able to tell Nino the truth – that the love of his life finally, _finally_ loved him back and that they’d spent the better part of the night making out under a beautiful night sky – _sucked._ Especially, when the only one he could talk to about it was Plagg, and his kwami insisted on making gagging noises and rolling his eyes at him whenever he so much as mentioned Ladybug’s name.

“It’s a wonderful life, Nino.” Adrien beamed. “Plenty of reasons to happy.”

“Uh-huh. Are you sure you’re okay, man?” Nino bent forward, inspecting his face for any sign of distress. “Have you finally been overworked to the point where you don’t even realize what you’re saying anymore?”

“I’m perfectly fine. Don’t worry.” In his peripheral vision, he saw Marinette and Alya passing by, discussing some video game, and Adrien reminds himself to ask them about it some time. “Hello, Marinette.” He greeted her cheerfully. “Hey, Alya.”

Marinette seemed surprised and even mildly alarmed at first, but she quickly recovered and gave him the same warm smile she gave everyone else. “Hi, Adrien.”

Alya only gave him a stern nod, and it wasn’t hard to guess by the way she clung to Marinette and the hard look she was giving him, that Marinette had told her about the conversation they had yesterday.

“Nino and I we’re just going to the park for lunch. Would you like to join us?” Adrien offered, as Nino shot up beside him. "I brought a lot of food, maybe too much actually.”

Marinette looked at Alya before nodding. “Sure, we’d love to.”

“Not gonna say no to a free luch.” Alya shrugged, pulling her phone out of her pocket. “Let me just text Madame Cheng first.”

Gasping, Marinette snatched the device out of Alya’s hand, leaving the other girl gaping at her. “I’ll do it myself.” She pouted at Alya, dumping the phone in her own bag. “Stop texting Maman.”

“Alright, jeez.” Alya said, elbowing Marinette on the side. “Phone thief.”

In response, Marinette stuck her tongue out at Alya, crossing her arms over her chest.

Having Marinette be herself around him was a rare occurrence for Adrien, and that was something he hoped to change. She was nice and sweet, the kind of person who made people around her feel treasured, and he was beyond glad to have her as his friend.

Although it sounded like nonsense fluff, what he told Nino was true, he currently had a good life and a lot to look forward to.

“You were going to Marinette’s?” Nino asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Weren’t you gonna get free food anyway?”

“Let me tell you a thing, Nino.” Alya began as the four of them walked out of the classroom. “If you make the right friends and play your cards right, you won’t have to spend a single euro on lunch for a whole year. That’s why I’m friends with Mari.” Throwing an arm around Marinette, Alya waved a finger in front of Nino’s face. “You always make nice with the girl who brings macarons on the first day of school.”

“Yep, that’s true.” Marinette nodded in agreement. ”The macarons were bait and she fell for it. I was only looking for someone I can bribe with food to cover for me every time I’m late to class.”

“You and your tainted friendships!” Nino was scandalized, shaking his head at the both of them. “Don’t go corrupting Adrien and I, because our friendship was born out of love.”

Adrien grinned. “Love, and Nino taking pity on my friendless, homeschooled butt.”

“I keep telling you it wasn’t pity. It was _bro at first sight_!”

“You didn’t even like me at first.” Adrien pointed out.

“Dude,” Nino’s voice dropped so low as he dramatically reached out to touch Adrien’s shoulder. “That’s how all great stories start. Look how far we’ve come.”

“ _Nino_.” Adrien laid a hand over his heart.

“Uh…you two are still _just friends_ , right?” Raising her eyebrows at the display, Alya looked back and forth between the two of them.

“For now.” Adrien winked, taking Nino with him and walking ahead, leaving a gaping Alya and a laughing Marinette a few steps behind.

It was a short walk, but Adrien still found it very enjoyable not only because they were having one of those elusive sunny Parisian mornings but because he was going out to have lunch with his _friend **s (plural)**. _ When they got there, instead of sitting on one of the benches, Adrien pulled a picnic blanket out of his lunch bag and laid on the ground for them to sit on.

 “Oh, this is so nice.” Marinette clapped her hands, taking off her shoes before she sat on the blanket. “It’s like we’re having a picnic.”

“Is it really a picnic if we have to be back for afternoon classes?” He wondered out loud.

“Sssh. No school talk, pretty boy.” Alya hushed, stretching out on the blanket. “We’re having a nice picnic.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Adrien concurred, not wanting to get on Alya’s bad side right now. He began taking out the food containers one by one and had only gotten to container number six before his friends were staring wide-eyed in surprise.

 “I know you said you brought a lot of food but…wow, that’s _a lot_ of food.” Marinette said, sitting across from him.

“Told you it was more than I can eat.”

“Yeah, gotta watch that model figure.” Nino said, patting him on the arm.

“I don’t care about the model figure.” Adrien scoffed as he emptied the lunch bag, leaning back to look at the eight large food containers before them. “I just wanna _eat_.”

 “Hey, are those empanadas?” Marinette asked, pointedly staring at one of the containers.

“Yep. They’re one of my new favorites.” Adrien reached for the container and offered it to her. “Have you had them before?”

Marinette nodded, taking a piece for herself and inspecting it in her hand. “Just once.”

“They all look so _good_.” Alya was practically drooling as she surveyed all the food Adrien brought. “Oooh, are we in Spain?” She asked, referring to the spread consisted of _paella_ , _croquettes_ , and _leches fritas,_ among others.

“Yeah, our new chef is Spanish and she likes making me her favorite dishes. Said I was too skinny. Turns out she’s not a fan of the ‘model figure’, either.”

“ ** _What?_** _”_ Marinette squawked, making the three of them turn to her in shock. Almost crushing the _empanada_ she was still holding, she asked again. “What did you just say?”

“Uhh…I’m too skinny?” Adrien supplied, looking at Alya to as if to ask what was going on but she only shrugged at him cluelessly.

“No. _Before that_.”

“Our new chef is from Spain?”

“ ** _You_**.” Marinette said breathlessly, staring at him with her face aghast. “ _You_ have a new chef from Spain who makes Spanish dishes for _you_?”

“Yes.” Adrien nodded. “Is something wrong?” He asked, his tone a cross between confusion and concern.

Unbeknownst to him, the sky had already fallen on Marinette and her head whirling like a hurricane at the possibility of who Adrien Agreste might just be – _but no,_ it couldn’t be. Coincidences happen, right? Maybe that was all it was.

_It wasn’t like Chat Noir was the only teenage boy in Paris with blond hair and bright green eyes._

_It wasn’t like Chat was the only skinny rich boy who had just recently hired a new personal chef from Spain._

_No, it was only a coincidence that both Chat Noir and Adrien happen to fit into these descriptions. They couldn’t be the same person because **she** , of all people, would know if they were, right?_

Although she felt numb inside, she was still dimly aware of her surroundings, of Alya calling her name over and over again to bring her back to reality, and the worried glances from Adrien and Nino.

“No. I’m alright.” Marinette croaked, the sound coming out like she was a depleted balloon. “Just _peachy_.”

When she bit down on the _empanada,_ she wasn’t even a little bit stunned to find that it tasted just like the one Chat had brought on their own little picnic. Now, that she thought about it, this entire setup felt all too familiar to her.

_That wasn’t just food. That was almost an entire picnic. You wouldn’t happen to have a blanket somewhere in there too, would you?_

In that moment, she realized two things:

One, she was a massive oblivious idiot.

Two, she was so, so unbelievably _fucked._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> so there's that
> 
>  
> 
> thank u guys for reading this  
> u r all so amazing i love u all  
> like the previous chapters there are probably mistakes all over this one too but guyyyyys  
> it's finals week and i am so very very tired  
> T.T  
> i couldn't decide where to end but i ultimately thought that at least this part of the story was over  
> but since my semester ends in a week  
> who knows i'll probably continue this  
> god i can't leave these idiots alone  
> please leave me comments bec i am also needy  
> xo
> 
> EDIT: THIS STORY CONTINUES IN THE NEXT PART OF THE SERIES AND IT'S CALLED YOU'LL BE SAFE HERE =))))

**Author's Note:**

> cry with me on tumblr @ tatemarkhams.tumblr.com // @ meanbeegirl.tumblr.com


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